The Glass Room
by Lorne Garraty
Summary: Kurt Hummel is the new boy at Dalton who immediately earns the school's slut title. When Blaine Anderson is dared to ask him out, both of their lives will change in ways they couldn't have ever imagined. Skank!Kurt AU Warning: Rape, abuse, and self harm
1. Monday

******Disclaimer: I do not own this story nor the characters.**

******A/N: ****The biggest of thank yous to my beta-reader, Nia!**

_My old man is a bad man,_  
_But I can't deny the way he holds my hand_  
_And he grabs me, he has me by my heart._  
_He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past;_  
_He doesn't mind I have an L.A. crass way about me._  
_He loves with every beat of his cocaine heart._

"Dude, just ask him!"

"If you don't do it now, you never will!"

These were the comforting words of Blaine Anderson's fellow Warblers as they pushed (or dragged, depending on your point of view) him towards where the infamous Kurt Hummel was seated in one of Dalton Academy's many posh sitting areas. It was a cool, early Monday morning, about an hour before first class was to begin, and Blaine was trying desperately to calm his wired nerves and pluck up the courage to ask Kurt out. Something he had been thinking about doing for months.

It was during one of the their equally infamous parties the night before, in the midst of a drunken game of Truth or Dare, that he agreed to ask Kurt on a date first thing the next day. It was a well known fact among Blaine's friends that he was gay and it was even better known throughout the entire school that Kurt was of the same sexual orientation. Yet Blaine still struggled against their hold; not because he disliked Kurt – in fact, one might say Blaine had a huge crush on Kurt. The two had never spoken before, though, so Blaine didn't have the faintest idea whether Kurt even liked him or not. Kurt was the boy who barely had anything to say unless it was said in riddles and suggestive slurs; there were ones who claimed he had slept with over half of the school's population already despite only being there for five months, and the fact that the none-heterosexual percentage of the students wasn't nearly as high.

Blaine remembered the time Kurt had transferred to Dalton; it was in January - late enough in the year to be awkward, but early enough to still make friends if he was inclined to do so. Blaine heard so much about Kurt that first day, before he even saw him with his own eyes, that he was certain that he could pick him out in a crowd easily. By the way people described him, that didn't sound like a hard task anyway - and when Blaine saw Kurt for the first time, he witnessed the truth in his peers' words.

Kurt Hummel was like no other boy Blaine had ever seen at Dalton. Even when wearing a school blazer identical to everybody else's he still stood out like a sore thumb. He was beautiful though - that was a fact Blaine never doubted.

The first thing that Blaine noticed about Kurt was his perfectly coiffed, chestnut-colored hair - and more importantly, the pink streak running through it. He then moved his own hazel eyes to stare at Kurt's brilliant blue ones which were at the time focused intently on the book in front of him. Macbeth. Shielding his eyes were wonderfully thick lashes and then just above them was a pair of carefully trimmed eyebrows. One of which, the left, was pierced two times with purple studs. His nose alone was nothing special but it became very much so with the metal going through the bridge. Looking further down, down towards his plump, soft-looking rosy lips, Blaine noticed another stud - a black one, which went through the middle of his bottom lip. He was later told, by one of his exasperated friends with a love for piercings but none of his own, that it was called a labret.

Blaine never thought that having a face full of piercings could ever possibly be attractive but the way he wore them just worked - and Blaine couldn't picture his face without them. Over the next few days not only did Blaine discover the various piercings that lined Kurt's ears which had not been visible from a front view, (the same friend with the hopeless love of piercings called them an industrial and gauges), but the hushed whispers and fervent rumours also taught him that Kurt was interested in one thing, and one thing only; sex.

It only took two weeks after Kurt's transfer for him to be labelled by the majority of the school population as a whore. Funny thing was, most of the people who called him that were the ones that has slept with him and the list only grew larger and larger. When a couple of Blaine's friends were added to the ever-growing record, he began learning things about Kurt that one should never find out without ever having even talked to said person. He learned that Kurt continually carried around condoms, lube, and a dildo with him, wherever he went, (Blaine was still on the fence about believing that one), and that Kurt also had many more piercings hidden under his clothes. He learned that Kurt never took anyone back to his dorm or house, always going to wherever the other person wanted, and also that Kurt never, ever bottomed. Apparently, if you weren't comfortable with bottoming then anal sex was out of the question - although he would readily participate in other things.

Quickly it also became known that Kurt never had sex with the same person twice. It was essentially the cause of the label of 'whore' – or at least, that's what people were led to believe for the first month. It wasn't until Sebastian Smythe came along that people realized that it was possible to have sex with Kurt more then once, and for awhile a lot of Kurt's old conquests tried, but it quickly became clear that the right to have sex with Kurt Hummel more then once was reserved for Sebastian, for a reason no one could ever figure out. When Sebastian joined the Warblers Blaine heard a lot of the other guys pressing him for tips and details but Sebastian surprisingly stayed very tight-lipped about it. Even more surprising was the amount of insults Sebastian continued to dish out about Kurt – although it definitely did not keep him from bragging. Sebastian never passed up the opportunity to mention that he was regularly fucking Kurt - it was just that this was as far as the bragging went.

What was even more surprising was the fact that Kurt's roommate, Julian McKenzie, had never - not once - had sex with Kurt. Not many people believed him, for obvious reasons, but Blaine did. Blaine and Julian had always been friends, and they got along well, although they never really hung out – but Blaine knew Julian was telling the truth. In fact, it was the way Julian spoke of Kurt that really peaked Blaine's interest in him in the first place. He told Blaine about a boy who was nothing like how others perceived him or even how Blaine had seen him.

"Seriously dude, he's completely different when it's just the two of us, " Julian said one day during break, "Like, he still speaks the same, but, like, the way he, I don't know, carries himself or whatever is the total opposite. He's… softer. More gentle. I don't know."

That afternoon during English AP, the only class Blaine and Kurt shared, Blaine decided to search for the physical difference in Kurt when he believed nobody was watching – seeing it firsthand this time, not by gossip and rumours – and he wasn't disappointed. Kurt's shoulders slouched, relaxed, and his hand came up to his mouth almost self consciously. He let his guard down, and Blaine found that Julian was right; the boy with the pink-streaked hair was completely different when he believed that no one was looking, searching - judging. From that day onward Blaine kept a close eye on Kurt - and not just during English; even during break, on the off chance Kurt would not grasp the opportunity to go have a smoke, Blaine would watch him. A few times the urge to go up and speak to Kurt brought itself into Blaine's mind but it was always quickly dismissed. Although Blaine not being able to approach somebody was odd to him - ever since coming to Dalton Blaine felt like he could talk to nearly everyone - Kurt was different. He was untouchable - unreachable. Not something to be tampered with or taken for granted.

Blaine soon became attached to Kurt in his own little quirky way. He became fond of the way Kurt seemed to read Macbeth over and over; he was always reading Macbeth. Blaine began noticing that whenever Kurt was bored he would, as if on default, begin painting his nails the usual black even if his nails were already polished to perfection. Blaine wasn't exactly sure what it was that he was feeling towards Kurt; he didn't want to accept that he might like him - he had never even talked to him - so he settled on admitting to himself that he was interested in Kurt in a way than the way everyone else seemed to be. Blaine assured himself that he was only interested in finding out the truth about Kurt, and it wasn't until later that he found out how much more it all really was.

The first time Blaine heard Kurt sing was by complete accident.

He had left English class and headed up to his dorm only to realize about an hour later that he had forgotten the assigned reading task on his desk. He whined to his roommate about it for a minute before heading back down towards the classroom. The hallways were empty, but it wasn't unusual for a Friday because almost half the school's population went home on weekends, and many others didn't board there at all. Blaine skipped down the stairs and turned down the left hall but stopped dead in his tracks as he heard a voice echoing off the wood and marble of the building's fancy halls. As the lead soloist of the Warblers Blaine was well acquainted with all of the guys' voices, and Blaine knew that this voice was most definitely not in the Warblers. The other thing he was certain about was that it sure as hell should have been. The pitch was higher compared to anything Blaine had heard in the all-boys school but it was also unbelievingly angelic.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_  
_All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise_

Blaine slowly followed the voice, which oddly led him all the way back to the English room. He poked his head in and nearly fell over on the spot as he caught sight of the now-iconic pink hair. It was like a switch flipped in Blaine's mind. He had found something he hadn't had any clue was even missing in the first place.

Had things been normal with Kurt Blaine was sure he would have walked straight into that classroom, tell Kurt how he felt, and kissed him. But things weren't like that. Things were complicated beyond belief. Blaine knew Kurt himself was complicated, and he needed trust from Kurt – not to mention a real conversation with him since he wasn't even sure Kurt knew who he was. Simple friendship would be enough. And then there was the fact that Blaine wasn't sure Kurt would exactly be up for a relationship; if the past few months were any indication, the idea wasn't very likely.

Blaine began watching Kurt even more then before. He noticed things past his secret adorableness - which wasn't even a real word, but Blaine truly didn't care since it described the boy so well - and good looks; he saw past the suggestive winks and bawdy comments. He saw sadness in Kurt's eyes - something deeper then what was assumed of him. He even began noticing patterns with Kurt. Simple ones, such as cigarette breaks always occurring at the same time everyday, the same bottle of diet-pop everyday at lunch, and then more compelling ones - like how every Monday Kurt came into school looking like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, (as opposed to every other day when he walked in glowing and radiant), and limping like he had gotten his ass kicked in many different ways. Even the occasional bruise would cover his jaw or temple. Blaine began thinking about it late at night in bed, imagining all kinds of scenarios that would explain why Kurt would be getting beat up every weekend. It was so consistent that it was almost ridiculous – as if Kurt's life was one big on-spot schedule.

It was only after that first time Blaine noticed this, though, that he made it a goal to always smile at Kurt. Blaine didn't care about how other people saw Kurt or how Kurt evidently did have someone new in his bed once or twice a week. It was the singing, the raw emotion, and the sad baby blue of his eyes that made Blaine certain that there was a real person with feelings buried underneath everything. Blaine remembered what everyone thought of him at his old school, and yes, a lot of it had been true, but that just made the need for someone to show him an ounce of kindness more pronounced. So that's what Blaine did; whenever Kurt walked into English, or passed by him in the hall, Blaine would give Kurt a genuine smile that hopefully conveyed at least a sliver of the affection that was building inside of him for the older boy he had never spoke to.

Even that day, the day after the silly party and drunken game near the end of May almost five months since Kurt's transfer, nobody really knew too much about Kurt's personal life - and it wasn't for lack of trying. Blaine had managed to hear some of the things the other guys said about Kurt behind closed doors during dorm gatherings, but none of it was ever truly good besides the universal agreement that Kurt was amazing in bed. Many of the boys also claimed to hate him, though Blaine noticed that most of the ones who said that were the ones who were also rumored to have slept with him. He figured that Kurt must be pretty damn amazing in bed to cause that sort of reaction to rejection - some of the guys would rant for hours on how much they completely loathed Kurt.

Oddly enough, though, what they said didn't take away from the now self-accepted infatuation Blaine had - if anything, it only made it grow. Blaine wanted to know him, and not in the way the other guys had. Blaine wanted to talk with him; have a conversation. He was just having troubles making that desire come true.

Even though everyone knew Blaine wasn't the type to just sleep with someone on a whim or talk badly of another person, somehow they had figured out that he more or less might like Kurt. They teased him about it and made jokes to each other, and told each other to "Shut up and stop making fun of Blaine's boyfriend," which always ended in Blaine blushing up to his hairline and the rest of them laughing their asses off - so yes; Blaine did kick and scream about the whole affair of asking him out. But in truth he was more than curious about Kurt's possible answer and a little more than scared of screwing up because of how much he desperately wanted Kurt to say yes. Thus he went along with it and mentally prepared himself as his friends gave him one final shove towards where Kurt was perched on the table instead of in the readily available chair beside it.

Kurt took up the entire wooden surface as he leaned back on his elbows, legs spread and feet planted firmly down. Blaine gulped at the way Kurt's uniform pants hugged his thighs in all the right places, but pulled his eyes away before they could trail all the way down to his on-display crotch. Instead he forced his eyes up Kurt's torso where the dress shirt was pulled tightly over his chest due to his position to be seen through, and the tie that fell uselessly down his side. He had his blazer on but it was open and spread behind him to fall over the edge of the table.

Blaine took a step closer, but Kurt didn't even seem to notice Blaine as his eyes were glued to the beat-up old phone beeping away in his hand. Blaine tried not to let himself get angry at the fading bruise that was purpling Kurt's jaw that was now visible as Blaine got closer. It wasn't until Blaine was nearly pressed against the table that Kurt finally looked up.

Kurt's eyes racked over Blaine slowly, starting at him feet and taking him in all the way up to Blaine's curls. His gaze made Blaine squirm as he looked back at Kurt, waiting for some sort of reaction, but he wasn't graced with one. Instead Kurt moved his gaze to Blaine's eyes, and the way he looked at him like he was looking right through into his soul unnerved Blaine in ways that nobody ever had before. He was mesmerized by the blue of Kurt's eyes - eyes deep enough to hold galaxies of stars, but bright enough to make a fool of the morning sky. Looking into them Blaine foolishly tilted his head in a trance and almost missed Kurt's words.

"Hey cutie."

Blaine had heard Kurt's voice before; it would be impossible to keep track of somebody for as long as Blaine had kept track of Kurt and never hear them, but it was still like he had never properly heard it. It was high and clear like wind chimes in the spring.

Blaine realized one awkward moment too late that he was stupidly standing there with his mouth open as Kurt gazed at him with an expression somewhere between amused and expectant.

"He- Hi," Blaine stumbled with his words. He'd beat himself up for it later. "I'm Bla-"

"I know who you are," Kurt said with a smile and a raised, perfectly plucked and pierced eyebrow. His smile was much more genuine than Blaine was ever expecting - it was almost as if Kurt was happy to talk to him.

"Right. So, you see, I was wondering if you- if you'd maybe like to, I don't know, get coffee sometime-"

"Blaine Warbler, there's really no need for the formalities," Kurt cut in with a tired, almost disappointed voice as he looked back down to his phone. "Just give me your dorm number and I'll be there after curfew, okay?"

Blaine stood there gawking at Kurt in confusion until it finally dawned on him that Kurt must be thinking he was asking for sex.

"No, no," Blaine hurried to explain himself, "I didn't- well I didn't mean that- I just wanted to see if you'd let me- I mean, see if you wanted to go out on-"

"Like on a date?" Blaine looked up from where his eyes had drifted to watch his shuffling feet at Kurt's surprised tone. Kurt was looking at him with a ghost of a smile and eyes wide with what appeared to Blaine to be disbelief.

"Yeah," Blaine breathed. He was happy that Kurt and him were finally on the same page.

"Um- uh, yeah," now it was Kurt's turn to stumble over his words, "I'd like that. So, uh… after school?" Kurt moved so he was sitting up with his legs dangling over the edge of the table as he stuffed his phone into the pocket of his blazer.

"Sounds good," Blaine was suddenly feeling confident. It was hard not to when Kurt had so readily agreed and looked almost bashful himself as he gave Blaine his full attention.

"Great!" Kurt exclaimed softly as he hopped off the table. Blaine took a step back to avoid invading Kurt's personal space, despite however much he may now want to, and watched Kurt pull his bag's strap on his shoulder.

"I guess I'll see you in English?" Kurt made it sound like a question, but it was more of a statement. Blaine never skipped classes and English was the only class Blaine knew Kurt never skipped. The only reason he even knew that was because it was the only class the two had together. Kurt was a year ahead of him, and although Blaine was taking many grade twelve courses, English was the only one where he and Kurt crossed paths. Both Blaine and Kurt sat at the back of the room at their own respective two-person desks, and however awkward it was, it always gave Blaine the chance to catch Kurt in rare off-guard moments.

Moments when Kurt would pull out his phone, read a text, and whatever it said would leave him smiling for the remainder of the class; moments when Kurt did his homework, and then looked so proud of himself when the teacher collected it and Kurt actually had something to give her. All of it was so contradicting to every single thing Blaine heard said about Kurt.

"Yeah, I'll see you in English." Blaine agreed, smiling.

Blaine eyed Kurt fondly as the older boy nodded and adorably bit his lip, then shifted his weight onto the balls of his feet for a moment before turning on his heels and walking back down the hall away from Blaine.

The response around Blaine was instantaneous. His friends whooped, hollered, clapped him on the back and high-fived; Blaine himself just stood there in a trance - not only because he had an actual date after school, but because said date was with the Kurt Hummel. It was simply surreal.

The time left before first class - English - flew by both too quickly and not nearly quick enough for Blaine. He was anxious to see Kurt again, but he wasn't sure what he'd do when he did. Should he sit by him? Make conversation? Then Blaine remembered that this was Kurt he was thinking about - Kurt was bound to be late, which meant it would be Kurt's decision; and since class will have already begun the idea for small talk was scratched off until their date.

Not long after, the bell rang and Blaine along with his friends parted ways and headed to their classrooms. English was the one class Blaine had where he was alone, but, well, was he really alone anymore? Or did Kurt count? Blaine wasn't sure but he figured that Kurt must count.

Deciding not to overthink it like he did everything else Blaine walked back to his usual seat at the big table in the far left corner. He pulled off his bag and set it next to his seat as he sat down. He tried not to, but he couldn't help but keeping his eyes fixed on the doorway, heart pounding nervously in his chest as he anticipated the moment when Kurt would come in. Even after the class had settled down and the teacher had made her way to the front of the room to call names Blaine's eyes kept shifting back to the door. He looked up at the clock - seven minutes since class had started. Blaine started wondering if Kurt had decided to skip and then began frantically worrying that Kurt was skipping because of him and what if Kurt had changed his mind and-

The classroom door opened and Blaine's mind stopped as Kurt walked into the room. He ignored the teacher's sarcastic greeting and usual observation of him being late as he strutted towards the back of the classroom. This was nothing different from every other day so besides a few turned heads, the rest of the students didn't pay any attention to Kurt.

Kurt's eyes seemed to scan the room and when they landed on Blaine a smile tugged at his lips. Blaine was surprised when instead of heading to his usual table Kurt seemed to be heading for his.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Kurt whispered as he approached. Blaine shook his head and made a show of pulling out the chair beside him and waving his hand to invite Kurt forward. Kurt ducked his head and smiled before plopping down. Blaine watched Kurt as he threw his nice however tattered bag on top of his desk and then gracefully tucked his legs underneath him to sit crossed-legged in his chair.

Blaine spent the majority of the class keeping his eyes on Kurt instead of up front. He barely heard a word the teacher said, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Kurt smelled very strongly of smoke, and vanilla, and although Blaine never had and never would smoke himself he still found the scent extremely intoxicating. Out of the corner of his eye Blaine eyed the bright pink bangs starting to already fall from their hairspray prison onto Kurt's forehead, and his hand itched to reach out and brush it back. Even Kurt's ear was distracting from the side view with its small gauge, shiny industrial, and cigarette tucked in behind. Later, while watching Kurt chewing on his pen while eyeing the notebook placed in his lap, Blaine nearly lost it - especially when Kurt took the pen out to write whatever the teacher had said down and unconsciously stuck out his tongue to reveal a purple tongue ring.

Blaine quickly turned his head back forward, glued his eyes to the whiteboard and tried to think about anything else besides Kurt's tongue along with his... everything. He couldn't help the shifting he had to do in his seat to get comfortable again with his growing arousal and he hoped it would go unnoticed by Kurt - but despite his best attempts to keep his eyes away, he sneaked a glance at Kurt and caught him smirking down at his notebook. Before Blaine had a chance to look away Kurt met his eyes and gave him a quick wink. That was it for Blaine; he crossed his legs and didn't look at Kurt again until the bell rang and he let himself watch Kurt's hips as he walked out of the classroom. It wasn't until he was stuffing the untouched worksheets that he hadn't noticed had been passed out into his bag that he saw the note.

_Meet me by the front entrance after school – Kurt_

Blaine gulped, shoved the note in his pocket, and hoped he had enough time to go to the bathroom before his next class.

Lunch came around quickly that day. Every class seemed to go by faster after the slow torture of English. He tried not to think about his date with Kurt after school, which was easy with Kurt never being in the cafeteria, until - of course - his friends showed up at their usual table and wouldn't shut up about it. Blaine also tried to convince himself that this date could possibly mean nothing. That the rumours could very well be true and Kurt might have no interest in Blaine except for sex. It was hard to do that, though, when he remembered Kurt's almost sad face when he was mistaken to think that was Blaine had been after; and then was his smile when Blaine has stated his true intentions. He didn't want to get his hopes up, though - Kurt had a reputation for a reason - so Blaine made himself remember those argues whenever his thoughts got out of control for the rest of the day.

When the final bell rang, announcing dismissal for the day, Blaine was more nervous than he had been that morning. At least that morning the worst that could happen was Kurt turning him down - now he had a real chance to screw up if Kurt did like him, and a real chance to get his heart broken if Kurt didn't and just wanted to hook up.

Blaine forced himself to head over to the front entrance, though; he wanted to take a detour to drop off his bag and blazer, but he didn't want to be late. Not that they had set a precise time, but Kurt didn't seem like the type to stand there waiting for very long before losing patience and walking off, so Blaine kept his pace brisk. He brushed past everyone in the hall, muttering 'hello's and 'excuse me's and trying his best not to shove.

When Blaine finally caught sight of Kurt he was sitting on the steps by the entrance and it looked like he was trying to light a cigarette. Blaine's eyes locked on his hands, and instead of feeling disgusted at the act Blaine was hypnotized. Without Kurt looking at him Blaine was able to watch the smooth, pale skin move over the bone as his black polish covered nails flicked away at the light. Kurt's eyes flashed with light as each flicker caused a spark. When the stick finally lit Kurt looked up while stuffing his lighter back in his blazer to meet Blaine's now smouldering eyes.

Kurt brought his hands up to his mouth and exhaled smoke as he said with a teasing smirk, "There you are."

Blaine ducked his head, chuckled lightly, and opened his mouth but closed it again, unsure how to respond.

"Ready to go?" Kurt asked with raised eyebrows as he shouldered his bag.

"Yeah," Blaine answered almost too quickly, "Yeah, let's go."

Kurt smiled in amusement but didn't say anything as he turned to lead the way off the grounds. Blaine jogged a few steps to catch up, and once he was walking beside Kurt he took notice to the height difference. It may not have been big - Kurt only had about an inch or two on him although it looked like more with his coiffed hair - but it was still enough that when they were close Blaine had to glance up to see Kurt's brilliant blue eyes.

"So, where to, Mr. Warbler?"

Blaine looked over but Kurt was facing forward as he spoke around the cigarette dangling from the side of his mouth.

"I was thinking that we could go for coffee at the little shop down around the corner," Blaine said, mentally congratulating himself for keeping his voice steady.

Kurt nodded and exhaled out of the corner of his mouth away from Blaine before saying, "Yeah, coffee sounds good. I didn't have time to get one on the way to Dalton this morning."

"I thought you boarded."

Kurt side-glanced Blaine and took a drag, "I go home on weekends," he explained simply.

"So why were you running late?"

"Slept in."

Blaine wondered if Kurt was as nervous as he was. He tried not to think about the fact that maybe Kurt just wasn't interested in anything but the prospect of sex; surely he wouldn't have agreed if that was the case. Blaine had told him what he wanted.

They walked in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all which surprised Blaine. They walked close, their shoulders barely brushing, and Blaine inhaled the apparent permanent smell of cigarette smoke radiating off of Kurt long after he had crushed the butt under his shoe.

The air was crisp and cool - the humid whether that came with summer had not yet arrived in that month of May. It was after five o'clock when Blaine finally caught sight of the coffee shop nestled in the corner of the intersection up ahead. It was that peaceful time where it was too late to casually call it afternoon but too early for evening either.

Blaine saw Kurt out of the corner of his eye, reaching into his bag most likely for another cigarette. He wanted to say something - he hated people doing that to themselves, and especially people who could sing - but Blaine hadn't told Kurt that he had heard him in the classroom that day so many weeks ago.

"We're almost there."

Kurt stopped his search to look at Blaine who was giving him what was almost a look of disapproval. He looked forward and his eyes landed on the coffee shop which made him take his hand out of his bag and straighten up. He didn't say anything but Blaine was sure he could see the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.

The café wasn't anything special. The best place for coffee in Ohio, in Blaine's opinion, was over an hour drive away - the Lima Bean. He only went there for special occasions and on weekends when he wasn't busy and felt up for the drive. This place was good enough, though; a lot smaller than the one in Lima, only holding a few tables, but it was cozy.

Blaine lucked out by walking on the inside of the sidewalk so he was able to open the door for Kurt without looking like he was trying too hard. Blaine always liked doing things for people - making them smile. But there was something in the way Kurt looked at him – the way he didn't even smile, just stared softly for a moment - that made Blaine feel both sad and happy. Sad that Kurt looked genuinely surprised, like nobody had showed him common courteously in a long time, and happy that it was him who finally got to show him some.

Kurt stepped into the café after a beat of uncertainty with Blaine on his heels. Thankfully the place was quiet - the only people who seemed to be here were the old couple in the corner and a woman behind the counter. Blaine knew exactly what he wanted to order, so he stepped up and turned to wait for Kurt but was surprised when Kurt came right up with him.

"What do you want?" Blaine asked kindly. He almost leaned in to nudge Kurt's shoulder playfully but thought better of it; he knew he had to tread carefully.

"Grande non-fat mocha," Kurt replied instantly without even looking up to the chalkboard menu. Blaine blinked but didn't say anything; he just turned to the old woman behind the counter and repeated Kurt's order along with his own medium drip.

Blaine looked back towards Kurt when he felt him shifting and saw him again looking through his messenger bag. He was pretty sure, though - at least he hoped - that Kurt wasn't getting a cigarette.

"Don't even think about it," Blaine chided teasingly.

Kurt looked up with a strand of pink hair falling onto his forehead and Blaine's hand itched to brush it back, but Kurt's hand beat him to it before he spoke.

"What?"

"Like I'm going to let you pay," Blaine shook his head with a smile, "It's on me, dummy," he concluded with a wave of his own wallet.

Kurt stood up straighter and then smiled a small cautious smile, and it was so beautiful that Blaine had to look away. He paid for their coffee without another word, a blush on his cheeks, handed Kurt his cup, and then led them to the table next to the window.

The sun was halfway down in the sky and was just starting to emit on orange glow. Blaine felt like that it was now that he should probably start some light conversation, but he was hypnotized with the dust motes swirling around Kurt slowly then whooshing past when he whipped his head to look out the window the sound of a truck passing. Kurt kept his face turned towards the window and Blaine looked out to trying to see what he was looking at but kept getting distracted by Kurt's reflection.

"What are you looking at?" Blaine whispered curiously.

"The sun," Kurt whispered back without looking at Blaine, "I like watching it go down."

"Why's that?"

Blaine wasn't sure why they were whispering but for some reason, the atmosphere between them was too soft to break it.

Kurt finally looked him but then turned back when he spoke. "Nearly one hundred thousand people die in their sleep every night. I don't want to miss my last sunset in case I happen to be one of them."

Blaine wasn't exactly sure what the right response to that would have been. He just knew that Kurt's tone was hauntingly wistful and in that moment he was sure he had never heard anyone speak so honestly.

It was because of this insight that he was taken by such surprise when Kurt jerked back around and put on a mischievous grin as he eyed Blaine and held out his hand. Blaine stared at the hand caught completely off guard and unsure what Kurt wanted him to do.

"Give me your bag," Kurt ordered with a teasing tone and an attempt at an innocent face.

"What for?"

"Just give it to me. It's nothing bad."

Blaine eyed him suspiciously, hopefully conveying a warning as he went over the bag's contents in his head, before reluctantly handing it over.

Kurt grabbed it greedily and without any explanation grabbed hold of the zipper and opened it.

"What are you-" Blaine tried to protest sternly but it was hard with Kurt looking like he was opening a Christmas present.

Kurt looked up and then reached down to grab his own bag which he promptly threw across the table to Blaine.

"Kurt-"

"Open it. See what treasures lie inside," Kurt explained with a secretive giggle as he looked back down into Blaine's bag.

Blaine just stared for a moment with Kurt's bag in his hands. He watched as Kurt took out his travel size bottle of hair gel, looked up to shoot him a smirk, before putting it back in and continuing. Suddenly, Blaine grasped the concept. It was a game but also a way to learn about each other without going through the awkward stumbling of conversation. What they found would do more talking then they ever could and probably make conversation between them anyway.

Blaine finally unclipped Kurt's bag as he saw Kurt take out his notebook for school. The bag was Marc Jacobs and was a lovely shade of brown - almost the same color as Kurt's hair but not nearly as rich. From what Blaine had heard from his friends about what Kurt carried around, he was a little nervous to stick his hand in it, but curiosity won out in the end.

He pulled out a variety of things. Some normal, some surprising and some not so surprising. The old, banged up Nokia phone Kurt had been using earlier, a Pac-Man lighter, nearly empty box of cigarettes, bottle of black nail polish, silver iPod Classic, pack of Juicy Fruit… Blaine realized that the further down in the bag he went the scarier it got. He found four condoms with Hello Kitty wrappers and a half bottle of lube. It must have been obvious what he had found from the look on his face because he heard Kurt chuckle and looked up to see him watching him. Blaine quickly retracted his hand from the bag and kept it out until Kurt looked away and back into Blaine's bag.

It took a moment for Blaine to calm his racing heart but he reined it in and fingered the sides of the bag until he felt a zipper. In the side pocket Blaine found the copy of Shakespeare's Macbeth that he had watched Kurt read countless of times. Blaine quirked an eyebrow as he looked at Kurt from under his eyelashes.

Now it was Kurt's turn to flush as he felt Blaine's stare and looked up to see the book he was holding.

"You like Shakespeare?" Blaine questioned in underlying amazement.

"Yes," Kurt answered.

"May I ask why?" Blaine asked as he turned the book over in his hands, no longer meeting Kurt's eyes, "I haven't read it myself but most people seem to hate it."

"Well, that's exactly it," Kurt said louder then before which Blaine look up, "People claim to hate it without ever having even read it… But then of course there are those who have read it and still hate it, but still…"

"You're full of secrets, aren't you?" Blaine murmured, putting the book back.

"A few," Kurt muttered. Blaine's furrowed his brow at the bitter tone but let it go.

He zipped up Kurt's bag as Kurt did the same with his and was just about to hand it over when he noticed a long, slim bulge in the front. His hand drifted down to what appeared like a pocket in the front and he was just about to brush it with hand when Kurt's voice cut him off.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you, even through the pocket. From the hand sanitizer I found I'm guessing you're a pretty clean person and probably wouldn't appreciate getting what's in there on your hands."

Blaine looked up at Kurt in confusion and Kurt raised an eyebrow. Blaine looked back down at the bag, back up at Kurt, back down at the bag, then suddenly remembered a conversation from a long while ago and it dawned on him. The realization only made him flush yet again and he shoved the bag across the table towards Kurt.

Kurt laughed quietly under his breath before giving Blaine his bag back as well.

They finished their coffee in content silence, watching the people passing by the window and only glancing up when the old couple finally exited, before looking at each other shyly and then back out the window.

Just as Blaine was considering checking the time himself Kurt beat him to it once again. He pulled out his phone and clicked before standing up.

"Let's go," Kurt said with that same smile of his as he reached down to pick up his bag.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly six. Come on, I want to show you something."

Intrigued, Blaine got his stuff and picked up his cup to throw out on the way, while Kurt left his cup on the table and waited by the door for Blaine.

Kurt led Blaine further down the street away from Dalton; after two blocks Blaine began to get less suspicious and just eager to know where they were going. When Kurt finally walked away from the sidewalk ahead of him Blaine hurried to catch up, hopeful that Kurt seemed to have found what he was looking for, but only became confused when he found that what he turned down into was an alley.

He had brief flashes of Kurt murdering him here and nobody finding his body until tonight when some drunks stumbled upon him. All of his doubts flew away, though, when Kurt turned to him with an encouraging smile and waved him forward. Once Blaine was close enough to see the black of Kurt's eyebrow piercings Kurt turned away and began climbing the metal stairs pressed against the graffiti covered, brick building. That was when Blaine realized it was the fire escape.

"Where are you going?" Blaine asked, placing a hand on the cold, rusted railing.

"Follow me and find out," Kurt replied cheekily without stopping.

Blaine huffed in fake annoyance but began climbing without verbal protest. Luckily, the building wasn't horribly high, only three-story tall, so it didn't take them long to get to the top. Blaine peeked his head over the side of the roof to see Kurt already lying down on the rooftop with his hands behind his head, looking completely at ease. His pink hair had taken on a weird tinge with the falling sun but it didn't matter as it blew in the soft breeze.

Kurt turned his head and Blaine could see the beautiful color of his eyes twinkling.

"Well, come on up then," Kurt mockingly demanded.

"Are we even allowed up here?"

"Probably not."

Blaine gaped at Kurt but obeyed and told himself not to look down as he stood up and walked away from the edge towards where Kurt lay. He couldn't help peaking out to see the tops of buildings spreading out far in his sight and Blaine made himself look away before he got too freaked out. It was already an internal conflict of how close to spread out next to Kurt but Blaine ended up opting for putting about three inches between them once he was fully laid out.

After a minute of silence Blaine became puzzled.

"Now what?" He asked with a turn of his head.

Blaine hoped Kurt would turn his head as well to look at him, so their noses may brush but Kurt never seemed willing to give him what he wanted.

"Now we wait," Kurt said without taking his eyes off the sky.

"Wait for what?"

"A star."

"A star?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

Blaine looked back up but he wasn't really paying attention to the sky. He was too mesmerized by the close proximity of Kurt which allowed him to smell, with the cigarette smoke starting to fade but not fully go away, the distinct smell of coffee and the slight scent of what could be vanilla.

It took about half an hour of Blaine nearly being put to sleep by Kurt's calm breathing and lulling scent before Kurt lurched beside him, pointed towards the heavens, and exclaimed, "Look, a star!"

Blaine smiled fondly and opened his eyes to, sure enough, see a subtle sparkle in the sky.

"What happens now?" Blaine murmured sleepily, closing his eyes again. "Do we wish on it?"

"I don't wish on stars," Kurt said as Blaine heard the thump of what had to be his arm falling back onto his chest.

"Why not?"

"Because we're millions of years too late. The star is dead. Just like any dream I could ever wish for upon it."

Blaine frowned, opened his eyes, and turned to look at Kurt whose expression hadn't changed a bit.

"That's pretty morbid," Blaine observed.

"That's reality," Kurt sighed. "Come on, we better get back. I have to go home after we walk you to Dalton to get something."

"I could just go with you," Blaine offered as he sat up with Kurt.

Kurt looked him quickly and hurried to stand up and brush off. "No, no. My dad will most likely be home," Kurt said with a smile - although, Blaine noticed, it didn't make his eyes crinkle like before.

Blaine cringed. "Oh! Well, yeah, okay. Good point."

They climbed back down the fire escape - Blaine went first this time - and without thinking he offered his hand to Kurt once he reached the bottom to help him down the last few steps. Blaine froze and was just about to drop it and apologize when Kurt did something that surprised him; he took it. Kurt reached out and accepted the offered hand, and although he didn't grip it or laced their fingers together - he just placed his palm on top of Blaine's - it was still a huge leap of what Blaine hoped was progress.

Kurt's hand was nothing like Blaine had thought it'd be, but everything he could have wanted. It was cold, oddly so for the month, but it was soft too; too soft for a man of eighteen.

Kurt pulled away quickly once he was on solid ground and exchanged a shy glance with Blaine before they started walking back towards Dalton. They walked further apart than before and the silence may have been a little less comfortable, but Blaine barely noticed as he replayed the entire date in his mind, over and over and over again. He didn't even notice where they were until he titled his head towards Kurt only to see that he wasn't beside him anymore. He looked back to see Kurt a good ten paces back with his arms folded and an amused eyebrow lifted as he exhaled smoke from a cigarette Blaine didn't remember him lighting.

"Where are you off to?" Kurt chuckled.

Blaine laughed at himself before walking back with his hands in his pocket.

"You sure you don't want me to go with you?" He asked again, not just to be polite but because he really didn't want to say goodbye yet.

"Positive," Kurt replied in a clipped tone that told Blaine to say nothing more on the subject.

"We should do this again," he said instead.

"When?"

Blaine didn't even think before blurting out, "How about tomorrow?"

Kurt looked almost shocked at Blaine's eagerness and Blaine struggled to take it back.

"I - I mean you probably have other-"

"Tomorrow works."

Blaine looked up to see Kurt still looking shocked but not quite the same way as before.

"R-Really?"

"Yeah," Kurt nodded as he threw his cigarette to the ground. "Yeah, tomorrow's great."

Blaine was smiling to broadly that he wasn't sure his face would ever go back to normal. He stared longingly at Kurt's lips, trying not to think of the cold metal of Kurt's labret against his tongue and then he really tried not to think about poking his tongue in further to feel Kurt's tongue ring. He knew that it was wasn't the right time to kiss Kurt, though. Not yet.

"Tomorrow," he agreed before shuffling quickly past Kurt, to avoid saying anything inappropriate, and heading through the main gate towards the school.

Blaine still wasn't sure what to make of Kurt Hummel, but he knew for sure that it was more than what everybody else did.

Kurt pulled his blazer tighter around his body as he walked away from Dalton and Blaine towards home. He checked the time on his phone his phone - 7:33 p.m.; that meant he had to walk quickly to not only make it back to school before curfew, but to get in and out of his house before his dad got off work. He really wasn't in the mood to run in with him. He felt too light - too carefree. He wasn't sure if it was happiness, though. He liked, Blaine, he really did, but there was too much worry still there. Worry that maybe Blaine didn't really like him like he said he did, wasn't genuine not matter how much it seemed like he was. Kurt was content to go along with it for awhile even if he wasn't, though. Just the opportunity to pretend that someone wanted to know him; get to know him-him -and not just that his body was enough to make him giddy in a way if knew he never should be.

Kurt wasn't going to deny that he liked all the sex he got, though - because he did; and not just for some weird emotional reason like control either - although that was some of it - but simply because it felt good. Really good. He could never do it more then once with the same person, though. If Kurt feared anything it was feeling something strong for somebody, and with what sex usually meant when it came to connections and feelings Kurt was walking on a thin line. He took all of the necessary precautions to make sure that he would not get attached. It worked great, for a while. For weeks after he got to Dalton sex came easy and without baggage. Life wasn't great, it never was, but those few moments of pure pleasure were enough to make Kurt forget, even if just for a little while.

That was until, of course, Sebastian Smythe.

Sebastian was an unanticipated flaw in Kurt's plan. He started out like the rest of them – except that he wasn't shy and beating around the bush about what he wanted from Kurt. He wasn't even nice to Kurt. On the contrary - Sebastian was really rather rude, telling Kurt he had a 'gay face' and ruthlessly insulting his clothes. In the beginning, Kurt wasn't sure what exactly to make of Sebastian. All he knew was that he didn't like him one bit, not at all. He didn't like Sebastian and despite his easy reputation he refused to sleep with him. Kurt couldn't understand it. Sebastian acted like he hated him but in-between insults would slip in lewd comments involving Kurt's dick up his ass.

It took Sebastian a month to get what he wanted. Kurt had been having the worst day ever. He had had a bad encounter with his dad the night before and then had slept in the morning after which caused him to forget his cigarettes and had him running towards Dalton trying to make the bell. He didn't make it. He was a good block away when he heard the obnoxious ring. Defeated, Kurt slowed his pace to a casual walk, not even caring anymore or watching where he was going. That was what caused him bump into Sebastian right outside the main gate. The sudden impact caused Kurt to stumble before a sure hand reached out to grab his wrist and steady him.

"Watch where you're going."

The voice, although near unrecognizable with its angry tone instead of its usual suggestive edge, was enough for Kurt to rip his wrist away like he had been burnt and glare up at Sebastian.

Kurt rubbed at his forearm absently as him and Sebastian just stared at ach other for what seemed like forever. It was almost as if the other's anger was calming them down.

Finally, Sebastian blinked and ducked his head before looking back up wearing the smirk that Kurt was now so used to seeing and suddenly the tense air was gone and for some odd reason the familiarity of the expression and the total dismissal of what had just passed between them relaxed Kurt. It wasn't really a good kind of relaxed though - Kurt was calm but not content. It was more of a 'fuck it' attitude.

Then, it was that exact fuck it attitude that made him follow Sebastian, after the boy not-so-subtly jerked his chin in a way that was asking Kurt to follow him.

They went back to Sebastian's, exchanging their usual banter the whole way, and then went through his empty house and up to his room where they spent the whole day fucking. Sebastian seemed a little reluctant to let Kurt top the whole time but soon realized that Kurt would in no way budge on the subject so he let it go with an annoyed sigh and several complaints.

It was after that day that Kurt and Sebastian began having regular sex every week. Sebastian wasn't looking for a relationship and still hated Kurt, and Kurt realized that his hatred towards Sebastian was absolute and so had no fear of attachment. The arrangement worked out pretty well all in all.

Kurt snapped out of his thoughts as the cold air made him aware of the fast departing sun; he had lost himself in his thoughts and so he made his feet move faster. He pulled his phone out and clicked it so it would display the time again; 7:47 p.m. His dad always got home a little after eight; he'd have to hurry to avoid running into him. Luckily, Kurt could see his house now as he turned into his street.

His house wasn't anything special, just a simple two floors and lawn. His parents weren't rich but they were in no way struggling. His dad was a lawyer and his mom a secretary, and they were hardly ever home during the week. But, then again, neither was Kurt.

Kurt walked briskly up the thankfully empty driveway as he fumbled with his bag to find his keys. He had to stop mid-way up the steps to finally find them and then made quick work to get the door open.

The inside of his house looked like a doll house - everything in its perfect place. The building smelled of cleaner and fragrance and after five months Kurt still didn't think of this place as home. He ran up the stairs after catching the time on the clock on the wall, 7:54 p.m, and burst into his room as he frantically began moving things around looking for the extra box of smokes he had bought last week.

Kurt's room was nothing like his old one. His old room had been decorated to perfection when he was twelve with the help of his mother. His favourite CD's and movies had lined the wall and his vanity had been filled with various make-up fixings and moisturizers.

Nowadays, his room was just a single bed covered in an old quilt and pillow, not even a sheet covering the mattress, and piles of boxes labelled and filled with his old life. There had only been one box Kurt had completely unpacked and that was the one holding his clothes. Everything else had only been taken out when needed and then usually just put back in after.

Kurt found his cigarettes under his pillow, where he had just started recently hiding things that he didn't want his parents to see but yet knew he had anyway, and turned to bolt when he heard the loud sound of gravel crumbling under slow moving tires. Someone was home. Kurt rushed over to his window and pulled back the ugly curtain in time to see his father, Walter Hummel, step out of the car. Kurt's heart lurched into his throat. He would give anything to be anywhere but here. It was a God given blessing to board at Dalton through the week and only have to see the man on weekends, and the fact that he was only back here now because of his addiction to tobacco made Kurt curse himself. He felt sick and panicked, the kind of horrible feeling one should only get when in a horror movie, and Kurt seriously debated somehow getting out through his window. It was a debate he had had with himself many times before, though, so he stomped his foot angrily like a child at his absolute rotten luck and tried to be as quiet as possible as he made the journey back down the stairs once he heard the startling slam of the front door. His father would hopefully think that he just forgot to lock the door this morning instead of assuming correctly that Kurt was there.

Kurt heard nothing as his foot hit the last step and for one fleeting moment he thought that maybe he could make it out without his dad noticing, the door was right there, but it was, of course, too good to be true. Just as his right foot followed his left onto the hardwood floor his father rounded the corner from the living room.

They stood there staring at each other, not at all unlike his odd encounter with Sebastian before their first time, and Kurt almost just walked out when Mr. Hummel spoke.

"What are you doing here?" His tone wasn't accusing. It was annoyed and almost bored.

Kurt knew he wouldn't be able to speak without his voice trembling so he settled for holding up the pack of cigarettes in his sweaty hand.

His father made no further comment. He came forward and Kurt held his breath as he came close enough to Kurt that they were nearly touching and Kurt closed his eyes as his dad brushed past him and headed up the stairs.

Kurt listened to the heavy footsteps and then the closing of a door, most likely the door to the study, and waited for a good minute in the silence before letting out a big whoosh of air. He tried not to notice that his hands were trembling or that he was shifting around like he wasn't sure what he was even doing there.

Kurt just walked out the door, closing it softly behind him, and waited until he was off his street before letting the tears fall.

**TBC**

**A/N: ****If you have a moment why don't you head over to Tumblr and visit me. I'm known as 'snowbel' over there (:**


	2. Tuesday

**Disclaimer: The story nor the characters depicted here belong to me.**

_Swimming pool glimmering darling_  
_White bikini off with my red nail polish_  
_Watch me in the swimming pool bright blue ripples you_  
_Sitting sipping on your black Cristal_  
_Oh yeah_

Kurt woke up slowly. He felt the cool sheet over his thighs and the warm, morning breeze from the window brushing over his bare torso. He blinked his blue eyes open to see his roommate, Julian, still sleeping on the other side of their dorm room.

Kurt sat up quickly, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, and stretched his arms over his head. He reached over the table beside his bedside to grab his black frame glasses. He would never dare where them to class, even though he really did need them, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He fumbled to open them and place them on his nose before placing his hands on the bed and pushing himself upwards. Kurt strolled into their small bathroom, picking up his discarded uniform on the way, and closed the door behind them. He threw the crinkled clothes in the overflowing hamper before turning around to look into the full body mirror nailed to inside the bathroom door.

Kurt shifted his weight from hip to hip as he looked at himself. His body was a mixture of girlish and boyish features covered in near sickly pale skin. Strong jaw and straight nose but soft neck and plump lips. He had a good chest and a slight hint of abs poking through his stomach but his arms were thin and his hips were wide. His thighs were toned but still big and his ass was no better. At least his cock was impressive.

Kurt hadn't critiqued himself in the mirror in a long time, though. He had learned to accept his body a little while ago, had stopped trying to lose weight, and even come to realize that his wide hips and thighs were what attracted a lot of guys. He just couldn't help but be harsh on himself though when the entire day yesterday he had been comparing himself to Blaine. Beautiful Blaine.

Blaine was everything Kurt wasn't. His skin had the perfect tan, his arms were deliciously strong, and his hips were wonderfully narrow. Kurt had stared countless of times at Blaine during English and had tried to imagine what his chocolate curls would look like without the massive amounts of gel taming them down. Yesterday, Kurt had stared into Blaine's eyes and barely heard a word Blaine had said as he memorized the way Blaine's thick, dark lashes fluttered under his dark, thick eyebrows and around his honest, hazel eyes.

Kurt liked Blaine. Really, really liked him and it scared Kurt. He wasn't sure what it was exactly. He knew it had started though with the fact that Blaine had never been involved with his life the same way everybody else seemed to be. He had never asked Kurt for sex or made fun of him to face or talked about him behind his back from what he had heard. And most importantly? Blaine smiled at him. When ever they passed in the hall or caught each others eyes in English Blaine would send him the smallest and sweetest of smiles that made Kurt's chest tighten in a way no other boy did could do.

Kurt had become obsessed with listening to Blaine's laugh as he talked to his friends and pretending that he was laughing with him. On their date Kurt had liked being taller then Blaine a little _too _much. He just couldn't help but find Blaine so cute with his puppy dog eyes and his massive personality trapped in the small but strong body. He had managed to contradict every idea Kurt had about men and it made him terribly weary and overly excited all at the same time.

Kurt raised his hand to pull at the skin around his eyes, still obviously blue even through the glasses over them, and play with the two piercings through his right eyebrow (which needed to be plucked again soon), piercings Kurt had got when he was fourteen. His first act of rebellion against his parents. The second had been the metal through the bridge of his nose and then, finally, the one through his bottom lip. His parents had been most furious about that one after the pink hair. Afterwards the piercings were just something he did because he wanted too and he kept them to places that his parents couldn't see such as the one through his belly button or the ones on his hips. Kurt loved his piercings, despite how the fad had started, he didn't regret any of them.

Kurt had tried to be stern with himself when it came to tattoos, though. He told himself that he would let himself get one when his lost all the stupid fat. But, like a lot of other rules in his life, he hadn't listened. For Kurt's eighteenth birthday last May he had got his buddy to give him a tattoo and all it had cost him was about twenty bucks. Kurt had thought long and hard about what he had wanted and in the end he had decided on the phrase "We Damage We". It was from a book Kurt had read when he was sixteen, _The Instructions_, and it had stuck with him every since. He got the words tattooed across his collarbone in the generic calligraphy.

Kurt couldn't help when looking at himself this way but to feel sad knowing that even if Blaine really did like him now that it would never last for long. It never did. Blaine was nothing Kurt had ever expected and everything he would never deserve.

As Kurt brought his hand down from his body his eyes ghosted over to where all of his shame would lay for the world to see if only he would let them. He let both of his pale arms rest at his sides and took a deep breath to steady his rush of emotion. Emotions tried to hide from everyone. There was only one person who knew about the result of his struggle and that person was currently making a ridiculous amount of noise on the other side of the bathroom door. It would be hard to hide almost your whole life from someone you live with.

Kurt lifted out his arms and turned his forearms upwards so the red and pink scars could stand out even more as the light in the ceiling shone down on his white skin and made the cuts, older ones near the wrist and getting newer and newer towards his elbows, become just that more prominent.

There were fifty-six on each wrist. They were not scattered but instead perfectly parallel to each other all the way up. Kurt had a messy room and a messy life but he always made sure he kept the lines on his skin perfectly organized.

It was this side of Kurt, the one nobody should ever have to see, which made Kurt want to pull away from Blaine. Kurt was a mess. He had a permanent stench of cigarettes and booze no matter how much he tried to hide it with his vanilla bath wash, he had been fucking strangers for two years, and the only one who hated Kurt more then his father was Kurt himself.

Kurt looked back up into the mirror and stared at the bruise on his jaw. Who was he kidding thinking that someone like him could ever be with someone like Blaine? Blaine was sweet, kind and innocent in the best of ways while Kurt was tainted in all of the worst.

Kurt knew he should put a stop to things with Blaine. He couldn't take getting attached to Blaine with the inevitable ending of the story being Blaine leaving him alone. He should tell Blaine that they couldn't see each other again. He should let Blaine go back to how things were before. Let him live his life and be with somebody who could handle his love for life and keep that lovely smile on his face.

It would hurt, yes. But Kurt knew that it had to be done. He couldn't lead Blaine on thinking that he could change and be better for him when he knew very well that he couldn't. He couldn't lead himself on to think that Blaine was the one person who would accept him for everything he was.

Kurt sighed sadly wishing he had never let himself indulge in the paradise that was Blaine Anderson. Now he was going to have to end it before it had ever really had a chance to begin. It had to be done though, and today, before Kurt tried to steal another.

From outside the room Kurt heard moving about which meant that Julian was up. He reached over to a pile of clean clothes placed on the counter and took a pair of purple briefs to slip on before strutting out of the bathroom.

"Good morning, Jules," Kurt greeted with a smile. Julian was one of the few people Kurt really liked. He had accepted Kurt from the very beginning, had let it go fairly quickly when it was clear did not in any way want to discuss the marks on his wrists, and even teased him about his very active sex life and generally poor lifestyle instead of dancing around it like everybody else did. Also, Julian was never fazed in the least with Kurt's lack of clothes around the room. If it wasn't for Julian's friends who sometimes liked to barge into the room without notice Kurt would always be naked in their room and he knew that Julian wouldn't have a problem with it. But, circumstances as they are, Kurt made sure he always had at least a pair of underwear on.

"Hey Kurt," Julian greeted with a smile, looking up from his laptop, "How'd the big date go last night?"

Kurt had had to tell Julian about his Blaine because they always met up on Monday's to study, not that he minded sharing with him, they told each other a lot.

"Not bad," Kurt lied. It had been amazing. "I haven't been on one in so long I think I might have fucked it up." Kurt chuckled to make it sound like he really didn't care.

Julian eyes Kurt like he knew he was lying, which he did, but didn't say anything as he smirked and looked away. Kurt figured that Julian knew that date had been amazing but figured Kurt was too embarrassed to say so. The fact was, was that Kurt didn't want to say anything because he'd be ending it today anyway.

"You better get dressed," Julian commented, eyeing Kurt's briefs , "Class starts in half an hour. Unless you want to go just like that. I'll support you in whatever you choose."

"Yeah, yeah," Kurt mumbled, but he was smiling, "Whatever."

Kurt reached into their shared closet and pulled out a clean uniform . He had been smart to get a shower last night so all he had to do was jump into his slacks and pull his white shirt over his head before going back into the bathroom to fix his hair.

He came back out ten minutes later with his hair perfectly coiffed in his usual way and his skin freshly moisturized.

"I'm thinking about changing the color in my hair to something besides pink," Kurt mentioned to Julian as they both tied their ties and shrugged on their blazers. It was easy to make small talk with Julian about such trivial things and it made Kurt feel as if things were normal and not even more a mess then they usually were.

"Oh yeah?" Julian replied, looking up to eye Kurt's pink streak, "What color were you thinking?"

"I don't really know. Maybe a blue or purple or something."

Julian nodded and then bent to pick up Kurt's bag and hand it to him. Kurt had made sure he put his new pack of cigarettes in his school bag the night before so he just did a quick look around of the room to make sure there was nothing else obvious he was forgetting. He took his glasses off, he wouldn't b caught dead wearing them in class although pretty much everyone had seen him with them on in the halls, and set them on his nightstand. When he saw nothing he turned to see Julian standing there with the door open for him. Kurt smiled and on his way by, Julian gave him a quick wink, and then they made there way down the hall towards class.

Kurt and Julian stopped to talk with some of the other guys until the bell rang. They said there goodbyes and Kurt started making the journey to English slowly knowing full well that yes, he's be late, but it didn't matter because he knew all of the material anyway and both him and the teacher were both very well aware of both of those facts. And yes, Kurt may have been walking extra slow today to put off seeing Blaine. Kurt tried to go over all of his reasons for stopping what was happening between him and Blaine so that even if blaine turned the charm on him he could still keep his resolve.

Kurt knew he shouldn't have gone to the stupid class at all when he walked in the door. Right sitting in the back was Blaine sitting in his usual seat with the most relieved/happy smile Kurt had ever scene. It made butterflies flutter in his stomach and his heart clench at the thought of what he was going to do. Kurt almost told himself that it would make much more sense to sit next to Blaine as to not confuse him and then explain later. But no, Kurt knew that if he sat next to blaine then he'd never be able to go through with his plan. Being able to smell Blaine's cologne and personal scent of summer would end in him begging Blaine for another chance when he inevitably screwed up and Blaine figured out what a shit piece of trash Kurt really was. He had to make a clean break. Start straight away so Blaine knew that something wasn't right. If things really went his way then Blaine would get angry with him and end it himself or at least agree with Kurt when he did it.

So Kurt walked down the through the occupied desk, ignoring the teachers usual greeting of sarcasm for him, and used all of his will power not to look at Blaine as he sat down at his old desk for two across the back of the room from Blaine. He didn't want to see the look of confusion. He didn't want to hear the desperate whispers of his name during a lecture. He didn't want to hear Blaine's chair being moved closer and then more loudly hear Blaine's frantic whispering.

"Kurt!" Blaine whispered harshly after they were instructed to get there books out, "Kurt, what's wrong? What did I do? Please talk to me."

Kurt tuned Blaine out in the best way he knew how. He remembered his awful weekend and the last fuck he had got and the pain of hearing people coughing "whore" as he walked by in the halls.

It worked almost too good and Kurt had to keep his eyes perfectly focused on the clock to avoid getting too emotional.

Kurt didn't hear a word the teacher said that hour. He didn't even know what the homework was and he had been planning on actually doing it tonight. Kurt didn't even hear the bell, he just suddenly noticed that half the class was gone and the over half was heading for the door, and when he looked down he saw a note on the back of the one he had written to Blaine the previous day.

_Please talk to me - B_

Kurt sniffed and stood to follow the stragglers out of the room. He debated throwing the paper in the trash by the door but after a moments hesitation he groaned and stuffed it into his blazer pocket with his lighter.

The next two classes that morning were hell. Kurt wouldn't usually attend them when he felt this bad about something or himself but they surprisingly created an excellent distraction. Math was too hard in general let alone after not going last week and French was _so _easy that it made his heart swell with pride when he watched the other suffering with it.

Lunch came eventually though. Kurt patted himself on the back for being able to avoid Blaine in the halls all day. He knew in his head that he couldn't avoid the situation forever and that it had to be done but in his heart he knew that just because it _had _to be done doesn't mean he _wants _it to.

Kurt decided to skip his diet coke today, childishly because Blaine would be in the cafeteria not that he's admit that to himself, and just go outside around back for a smoke.

The sun was shining bright that day so inside the backdoor Kurt took off his blazer, folded it, and then put it in his bag. He dug out a pair a huge designer sunglasses to put on, his smokes, and his lighter from his pocket before putting his bag back over his shoulder and stepping out into the warm heat.

There wasn't anyone else outside where Kurt was. It was one of the perks of going to a private school. There really wasn't anyone else who came out to smoke so back there wasn't ever patrolled or checked up on.

Kurt looked at the dimmed, blue sky through his dark shades while taking out a stick to expertly place between his lips. He didn't have to struggle to get his Pac-Man lighter to come alive with the lack of wind that day. He brought the flame up to touch the end of his cigarette and then pulled it out of his mouth to exhale the smoke that had immediately filled his lungs. His nerves numbed with the relief of tobacco and suddenly instead of the nervous feeling that had been in his stomach he just felt very accepting and sad. Sad about how his life had turned about. Sad that he had to turn away the one boy in his life who had come up to him and asked him out on a date. The one boy who wanted to listen to him talk in a coffee shop instead of listen to him scream and moan in bed.

His phone interrupted the string of thoughts as it buzzed in his back pocket. Kurt threw the filter to the ground and reached into his back pocket to retrieve his phone.

**INCOMING CALL  
****UNKNOWN NUMBER**

Kurt frowned but still pushed the talk button and put the device to his ear.

"Hello?" he muttered, as he fumbled for another smoke.

"You free tonight?"

Kurt sighed and stood back up straight. From the tone and lack of greeting Kurt knew right away that this was one of his previous hook ups. They must be calling for a friend because everyone knew Kurt didn't fuck anyone twice except Sebastian. It wasn't even a surprise to Kurt anymore that he couldn't remember this voice or who it could belong to despite knowing that he had at some point had his dick up their ass.

Kurt thought about the request. His instinct was to just agree because he didn't really care and he never had anything to do really but then he remembered Blaine and stopped short to tell him that he was in fact busy but then he remembered the plan. He did right now have a date with Blaine but after they talked they sure as hell wouldn't.

"Yes," he swallowed then cleared his throat, "Yes, I'm free. When and where?"

"Around ten. Last room on the left in the right wing."

"Fine."

The phone disconnected.

Kurt snapped his cell shut. Yesterday he had a date and today he has a fuck. Great. Kurt leaned down and snapped open his bag. He dug around to the bottom and felt around for the condoms he always kept in there. One… Two… Three… Four. That should be plenty for the rest of the week. Kurt decided he'd go shopping that weekend to pick up another box. He wouldn't be able to get cute little ones with Hello Kitty wrappers again, Kurt had stole those from a guy he had fucked last week, but he figured he could get some flavoured ones or something. Possibly strawberry…

"Kurt!"

Kurt's head whipped up to see Blaine jogging towards him. His breath caught at the strong legs moving and the warms arms pumping at his sides and his face wearing the most peculiar expression.

Then it registered. He wasn't supposed to be talking to Blaine. He was ending it.

"What the hell, Kurt?" Blaine panted as he stopped in front of the taller boy.

"What do you want, Blaine?" Kurt sighed as he stuck another cancer stick in his mouth and gave Blaine a bored look.

"I want you to tell me what your problem is," Blaine snapped, "I want to know why you didn't say two words to me today."

"Maybe because I didn't want to," Kurt said before blowing smoke in Blaine's face with a mocking wink.

Blaine didn't look fazed, "Was it something I said, Kurt? Or do you just not like me? If that's it then just tell me. Cut the act and tell me."

Kurt didn't answer and instead just stared levelly at Blaine while taking a drag.

"Are you pissed that we didn't go back to bed together? Is that it?"

Kurt's eyes flashed up to Blaine's and he saw the raw anger but also realization flickering in them. His hear sank to hear Blaine say that. Kurt knew of course that Blaine had heard and believed all of the things the other boys said about him, because it was all true, but it hurt to hear him say it. Say it like he should have known it all along. Say it like he shouldn't have expected no less from Kurt.

"Fuck you," Kurt chocked as he stalked past Blaine.

"Kurt, wait!"

Kurt felt Blaine's hand clasp around his wrist and on instinct he tore his arm out of the strong grip and spun around snarling, "Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Blaine said softly as he held up his hands.

Kurt nodded but kept his posture stiff and his lips pressed in a tight line.

"I just want to know what I did wrong," Blaine explained in that same gentle tone.

Kurt closed his eyes and took a breath before answering with "It's nothing you did, Blaine."

"Then what?"

"It's me," Kurt looked up at Blaine with eyes pleading to understand, "I can't be with you, Blaine."

"Why not?" Blaine whispered as Kurt looked away, ashamed, "Talk to me, Kurt."

"I'm no good for you, Blaine. A fuck-up like me doesn't belong with someone like you. And I'd rather leave now then wait until you figure it out for yourself."

"You won't know what will happen unless you give us a chance."

"Blaine, you've heard what people say about me and you know that most of it is true!"

"Just because it's true doesn't mean I believe it. I don't believe that any of that is the real you. The man I was with yesterday was real and I happened to really like him."

"Blaine—" Kurt tried to protest.

"Just one chance, Kurt," Blain insisted, "If it doesn't work out I promise it won't be because of what others think about you. Whatever happens will be because of what _I _think of you."

"What _do _you think of me, Blaine?" Kurt whispered.

"I think that you're beautiful," Blaine answered without missing a beat, "Witty, insightful… I think there's so much more to you then you let people see."

Kurt sniffed and _goddamnit he wasn't going to cry! _But it had been so fucking long since someone had talked to him like that. Like he was a person who had feelings. Kurt had forgotten what it was like to talk to someone who didn't want to whore you out. There was Julian but Kurt sometimes even doubted _him._

Kurt couldn't help but crave at least a friendship with Blaine. If wanted more, god did he ever, but Kurt couldn't deny that he would accept anything Blaine was willing to give him.

The bell signalling the end of lunch sounded but neither Kurt nor Blaine even flinched or made any move to go.

Kurt looked down at the ground and knew that his next decision could very well end up being the stupidest thing he would ever do but he couldn't go through life without at least_trying _to do something good in his life.

"Okay," Kurt breathed, barely audible.

"Okay?" Blaine asked.

"Okay," Kurt repeated louder, nodding.

Blaine smiled softly, "Want to go up to my dorm or something?"

Kurt coughed a chuckle and looked up to again meet Blaine's eyes. Was Blaine offering to skip class? Kurt raised his eyebrow and smirked in his trademark way, "You sure this is a good idea? Looks like I'm already becoming a bad influence on you."

Blaine shrugged and smiled innocently but Kurt could see the real humour in his eyes. Blaine stepped forward and kept walking a few paces ahead until he reached the door before turning to face Kurt.

Blaine shrugged his shoulder in invitation, "Come one, you."

Kurt was taken back by the innocent phrasing and smiled before complying.

The walk through the halls was silent as the boys shared a few shy glances. It wasn't until they reached the stairs leading up to the dorms that Kurt spoke.

"How did you find me?"

"Huh? What?" Blaine spluttered.

"How did you know I would be by the backdoor?"

"Oh!" Blaine exclaimed, "I asked your roommate."

"Julian?"

"Yeah. He said you always go back there for your smoke."

Kurt made a mental note to have a talk about revealing information later. Not that he wasn't grateful.

They reached Blaine's dorm and Blaine reached into the pocket on his blazer to take out his key. He unlocked the door and pushed it in, first poking it in to make sure there was no sign of his roommate, and then opening it and stepping for Kurt to enter before him.

Kurt stepped inside to see a room much cleaner then his own. Both him and Julian were messy people and it looked as if Blaine and his roommate were the exact opposite.

"Over here," Blaine murmured, looking suddenly nervous, as he gestured to the left side of the room. Kurt walked over and without hesitation threw his bag on the floor and perched himself comfortably on Blaine's bed. By now he was quite used to walking into strangers dorms and invading their beds.

Kurt took in the perfectly laid out sheets, a beautiful red plaid comforter, and the nightstand with a picture of Blaine and what Kurt could identify as other members of the Warblers. Blaine sat down in the desk chair across from Kurt and seemed to watch as Kurt continued to let his eyes wander and then land on the acoustic guitar.

Blaine must have seen Kurt's interest peek because he asked, "Do you play?"

"Just the piano," Kurt said softly, "Though I haven't played in ages."

Blaine smiled at him then and Kurt was smiling back before wondering when the last time was that he had ever smiled back at someone so effortlessly.

Blaine's heart pounded at the sight of Kurt's face so lit up and so carefree.

"So… What do you want to do?"

It had been Blaine's decision to skip class but he hadn't really thought through what they would do instead.

"I don't know…" Kurt shrugged as he adorably scrunched up his nose, "I mean we could— Oh, I know! Give me your phone," Kurt smiled, holding out his hand.

Blaine gave Kurt a sceptical look but still reached into his pants pocket for his phone, "What for? You're not going to do the same thing you did to my bag and go through it are you?"

Kurt chuckled darkly and made a grabby motion with his fingers, "Of course not."

Blaine didn't believe him but he just couldn't say no to Kurt for some reason. Not until he became for confident around him at least. He slid his thumb across the lock screen, put in his password, and handed Kurt over his phone, wondering what he could possibly be doing. The possibilities were both extensive and terrifying.

Kurt pressed a few buttons but didn't look too long before smiling up at Blaine and waving him over.

"Get over here," Kurt encouraged, patting the blanket beside him.

Blaine was confused but moved over from his chair to the bed. He could feel the heat radiating off of Kurt and he tried too stop himself from leaning into the soft warmth when Kurt beat him too it. Suddenly Blaine could feel Kurt's entire right side pressed against him and he stiffened, unsure how to react.

Kurt looked over at Blaine as he pushed into him playfully, "Take a picture with me?"

Blaine looked over to see the phone on camera mode, the screen currently displaying a shot of there touching thighs. He nodded.

Kurt surprised him again by leaning in even closer and pressing their cheeks together as he raised the backwards facing phone an arms length away and Blaine could feel Kurt's smooth, silky skin against his rough, stubble.

It took a lot of focus too look into the camera when Kurt said but no trouble at all to smile.

Kurt pulled the phone back and from the look on his face Blaine could tell he was satisfied. He waited as Kurt's thumbs moved around for a moment before asking, "What are you doing now?"

"I made us your wallpaper and lock screen."

Blaine's heart thumped at the thought of seeing Kurt every time he pulled out his phone to read a text or check the time.

"What are you doing now then?" Blaine asked when Kurt didn't look away from the screen.

"Adding myself to your contacts."

Blaine felt absolutely giddy.

Another minute.

"_Now _what are you doing?"

"Looking through your texts."

Blaine launched himself across at Kurt. He knew that there was nothing to hide though and apparently so did Kurt as Blaine heard him laughing underneath them. Blaine joined in on the laughter when he finally wrestled the phone away from Kurt and tossed it onto the nightstand. Kurt lunged at him and then they were both rolling around on the bed and laughing so much it hurt and there were tears in their eyes.

Blaine was soon declared the winner when he had Kurt pinned underneath him as he straddled his waist. He basked in his glory with his hands above his head and Kurt rolled his eyes but was smiling anyway.

Once Blaine was content with himself he brought his hands down onto the bed on either side of Kurt and smiled softly down at him, whose breath had evened out from the panting it had been a few moments ago. Blaine knew he should be embarrassed by the intimate position they were in and should be apologizing and climbing off of Kurt but he could only stare.

Kurt was so beautiful. For once Blaine really looked past the metal in his face and looked into the blue eyes that were shining with excitement and the most lovely blush that had graced Kurt's cheeks in all the exertion and then those parted lips. Blaine suddenly became fixated with Kurt's lips. Pink, plump, and moist… Just begging to be captured between—

"Blaine."

"Yes?"

"You should probably kiss me now."

Blaine hesitated a moment, hardly believing what he was hearing and needing a moment to rip himself from his trance, before looking back into Kurt's eyes. The questions "What?" and "Your sure?" danced on the tip of his tongue but he already knew the answers just looking at Kurt.

Kurt was watching him in a way he had never seen before, not just seductive but giddy and nervous. Blaine's eyes flickered back down to Kurt's lips, parted in invitation, before glancing back at Kurt and jerkily nodding, "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

Blaine had to stop and take a breath before starting to lean down. He tried to take in the moment. He tried to savour it. His brain was screaming at him to slow down and enjoy because this was _Kurt Hummel underneath him _but Blaine couldn't think about anything when he got within a few inches of Kurt's face and stared as Kurt's eyes fluttered closed in anticipation.

Without making that unreal boy beneath him wait any longer Blaine closed the distance between there mouths and kissed him.

It started out soft and slow. Neither of them moved, just breathing in each other. Blaine breathed heavily from his nose and tilted his head to get even closer without opening his mouth. This was Blaine's first kiss and although he knew what he wanted he wasn't exactly sure how to do it right.

They parted and Blaine found it to enticing how Kurt's eyes stayed closed for three quick heartbeats before opening slowly. Blaine could see the longing in the widened pupils and was all of a sudden very aware the heat in his groin.

He was about to pull away to avoid embarrassment when suddenly Kurt was everywhere, invading all of his senses. He felt a sure hand knotting itself in his hair and another pulling aggressively at his tie pulling him down to smash his and Kurt's mouths together hungrily. Unlike there first kiss, which had been tentative and sweet, this kiss was all want. It was filled with lips and teeth and Blaine was getting aroused and becoming obsessed with the wetness helping their lips to slide easily and quickly with each other.

Blaine was sure it couldn't feel any better until he felt a warm pressure against his lips. It was Kurt's tongue and from the pushing Blaine could tell that Kurt was asking for something very specific. Without even thinking about it, although if he had his answer would have been the same, Blaine opened his mouth and instantly was filled with a dragging heat that he quickly began sucking on. A heat so intense that it startled him enough for him to jump against Kurt when he felt the cool sliding of metal against the roof of his mouth. Kurt's tongue ring. Blaine finally allowed himself to moan loudly as he curled his own tongue along the stud. Kurt tasted overwhelmingly like cigarettes and it was bitter but it was the best thing Blaine had ever tasted. He was then fully hard and trying his best under the circumstances not to thrust and rut against Kurt. He suddenly wished he had been sitting some where's else though because from where he was there was no way to tell if Kurt was as hard as he was or even at all.

The kiss ended once the need to breathe became to much for there squished noses to handle and they pulled apart with an obnoxious, wet smacking sound. Blaine then slid his nose across Kurt's cheekbone until his swollen lips were at Kurt's ear where he began panting heavily again, even more then he had after there wrestling match. He felt Kurt shiver and felt the warm breath rapidly leaving Kurt's chest rush across his neck.

Blaine pressed a teasing kiss to Kurt's side burn before flicking his earlobe with his nose. A giggle bubbled from Kurt's mouth and Blaine swore in that moment he had never heard a sound more wonderful. Blaine started to lift his head to look at Kurt when the door opened.

Both Kurt and Blaine's heads whipped to the side. Blaine knew before he even saw who it was that it was his roommate Matt.

"Hey Blaine, the guys and I were wondering if— Oh…"

Blaine could only imagine what the scene looked like. Kurt Hummel in his bed, underneath him and between his legs, both of their clothes wrinkled and their lips puffy.

"Sorry, sorry," Matt chanted frantically before pulling his head back from the room and shutting the door.

Blaine gaped and then began worrying. Would Matt's obvious assumption of what was happening upset Kurt? He had thought that Kurt was so immune to the things people said and thought but after their conversation earlier Blaine began to realize that Kurt was sensitive to those things. When Blaine looked back at Kurt though he was grinning. Kurt brought his hands up to rest on Blaine's chest between there bodies and lifted his head to kiss the corner of Blaine's mouth. Blaine sighed and tried to nuzzle into Kurt when he felt a hand patting his thigh.

"Alright you, get up."

Blaine faked an offended scoff but smirked and climbed off to sit on the side of the bed. Kurt scooted up to sit against the headboard.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" Blaine wondered after a few blissful seconds of silence.

"I suppose," Kurt shrugged.

"Why… Why did you agree to go out with me?"

Kurt looked down at his hands and seemed to take a moment to think before taking a deep breath and murmuring quietly, "Your smile."

"Sorry?" Blaine leaned in closer.

"Your smile," Kurt said more firmly, but still gently, looking up.

"My smile?"

"Yeah, you always smiled at me without even having spoke to me while everybody else didn't care to bother despite me having fucked the majority of them."

Blaine searched Kurt's face for something but only found sad honesty.

He tilted his head, "I'll always smile at you."

Kurt ducked and shook his head, "You say the most ridiculous things."

"I know," Blaine whispered, suddenly bashful.

Kurt laughed and Blaine blushed.

They decided just to hang out for the rest of the afternoon. They talked for hours about everything that seemed important but nothing that they'd remember tomorrow. Before class was let out Blaine snuck down to grab them coffee from the cafeteria which, was although the worst coffee ever, was downed quickly before they settled down on the bed to explore YouTube. They were way in the back roads watching lyric videos of songs by Lana Del Rey when they finally drifted off. Kurt woke up first, saw that the sun had gone down, and sat up to stretch before not so subtly shaking Blaine awake.

Blaine yawned himself into consciousness and when he opened his eyes Kurt was turning his head from side to side as if he was looking for something but Blaine could tell that really he wanted to ask something.

"What do you need?"

"You mind if I smoke in here?" Kurt asked.

"Well," Blaine thought about it, "_I _don't mind but I'm not sure about Matt—"

"Say no more," Kurt assured him, "I'll go outside."

"Want some company?"

Kurt turned from where he had begun shrugging back on his blazer, "Sure," he smiled.

They snuck down quietly from the room. It wasn't hard to get out near curfew if you knew what you were doing and Kurt sure knew. The sun was nearly all the way down and the school lot was bare. Kurt led Blaine around to the back, the same place where Blaine had found Kurt the morning, and leaned up against the wall to pull out his smoke while Blaine came up beside him.

Kurt took a long drag and just stared at the stick for a curious moment before looking at Blaine and offering his hand, "Want a drag?"

Blaine pulled back and waved his hand dismissively, "No, no. I don't smoke."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and shrugged but he was smiling, "Why not?"

Blaine thought about it, wanting to answer honestly, "It's not good for my voice… and I'm not really interested in getting lung cancer and dying." It may have been a harsh thing to say to someone currently holding a cigarette themselves but Blaine thought that maybe people weren't harsh _enough _with smokers.

Kurt just chuckled though, "I don't worry about that."

Blaine looked over at Kurt with a questioning look.

Kurt eyes him before looking back away, "Ever wonder if we're already dead?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I wonder if we're already dead and this is the place we're sent to be punished." Kurt whispered.

Blaine just stared at Kurt. He took in the dark, almost black hair in the low light and the haunting, deep sea blue of his eyes. He stared at the smoke being blown from his mouth in what looked like slow motion and the flick of Kurt's long fingers as they tapped the tip of the cigarette from the end.

How could one person be both so torture and so beautiful at the same time?

Blaine was just coming up with a response when Kurt spoke again.

"I wasn't always like this, you know. I was different back home."

"Where is your home?"

Kurt looked so sad as he sighed, "Lima."

"Lima? So you went to…?"

"McKinley." Kurt provided.

Blaine nodded slowly.

"I was in the glee club."

Blaine looked up quickly at that.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Kurt murmured, "I was an amazing singer back then…"

Blaine didn't even have time to think before his mouth was saying, "I know."

Kurt's eyes flashed over to glare at Blaine, "What do you mean?"

Blaine flushed. _Shit. _He was caught.

"I— I didn't mean— I wasn't intending– I heard–"

"Spit it out, Blaine."

"I heard you singing. About a little bit after your transfer. In the English room."

Kurt just looked at Blaine and Blaine hurried to make things better.

"You're really, _really _good." Blaine assured Kurt.

Kurt just scoffed, all of his previous bragging disappeared with the coming of embarrassment.

"You should join the Warblers," Blaine continued, "Your range is incredible, I— The Warblers would be lucky to have you."

Kurt kicked his foot against the ground and muttered, "I don't think so, Blaine."

"Why not?" Blaine failed at trying not to sound whiny.

"I don't sing anymore."

"But—"

"I said _no, _Blaine" Kurt snapped.

Blaine went still under Kurt's threatening tone.

"I— I'm sorry. I—" Blaine stammered.

Kurt huffed a breath and turned to fully face Blaine.

"No, Blaine… No, _I'm _sor—"

"Don't apologize." Blaine interrupted.

Kurt smiled a soft still apologetic smile and leaned in. Blaine closed his eyes once he could smell Kurt's breath and held his own until he felt Kurt's perfectly gentle lips press against the side of his mouth. He didn't open them again until Kurt was gone and the air was suddenly bitter and cold after Kurt's warmth.

"Kurt…?"

Blaine couldn't read Kurt's features at all. He needed more practice.

"Come on," Kurt said with a strange, longing tone, "Let's get you inside and out of the cold."

Blaine watched Kurt walk past him and stood alone in wonder for several seconds before finally forcing himself to follow.

**TBC**


	3. Wednesday

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story nor the characters.**

**A/N: Thank you to Ellie for being a wonderful beta and thank you all for waiting so long.**

_My old man is a tough man but_  
_He's got a soul as sweet as blood red jam_  
_And he shows me, he knows me_  
_Every inch of my tar black soul_  
_He doesn't mind I have a flat broke down life_  
_In fact he says he thinks it's why he might like about me_  
_Admires me, the way I roll like a Rolling Stone_

"-fucking _cock_ slut!"

Kurt's stomach twisted in the most awful anxiety as he threw his weight around the banister post at the top of the stairs and sprinted down them so fast that the pounding of his footsteps was near faster than that of his pounding heart. He choked back a sob of terror at the sound of his father coming down close behind him, and he almost wanted to just stop and just get it over with, just let his father finally grab hold onto the back of his shirt and yank him back to have his bloody way with him.

Kurt was propelled forward after the last step by his own momentum and went slamming into the front door. His ears were buzzing, his nerves were on end, and he barely had time to let out a screech in frustration when his hands fumbled uselessly with the door knob before a pair of strong, completely enraged arms circled around his torso and pulled him back.

Kurt didn't struggle when his father did this. Not like he used too. He had learned early on that struggling only made the inevitable punishment all the worse. If he just accepted it and didn't fight back then it would be over just that much quicker, and maybe then his father might not be as harsh and his bruises might stay blue and not turn black.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going, you little whore?" His father hissed into his ear. Kurt could practically taste the alcohol poisoning his breath and somewhere in the back of his mind he wished that he was wasted too, so then maybe he could forget all of this tomorrow.

"Please, please…" Kurt sobbed, though no tears fell. They never did.

A sudden weight shoved Kurt to his knees and he whipped his head around just in time to see and then promptly shut his eyes as a beer bottle was aimed and swung towards his head before-

A strangled scream echoed against the walls as Kurt awoke and shot up in bed.

It quickly became known after his transfer to Dalton that Kurt had a tendency to walk around in his underwear. To everyone, even Blaine, it became a normal thing to see the boy walking around the dorms after curfew with nothing on but his briefs.

It was obvious that he only did it for convenience on nights he was sleeping with someone, which is why Blaine was a bit taken aback when Kurt showed up at his and Matt's dorm room at five in the morning, clothed only in a Dalton sweatshirt (that Blaine recognized as the one he had lent Kurt last night), a pair of bright red briefs, and -surprisingly- a set of black framed glasses. Blaine didn't get a chance to comment on any of this, however, before Kurt started talking.

"Hey," Kurt breathed, sounding nervous, "Would it- Would it be okay if I-"

"Who the fuck is it, Blaine?" demanded an obviously pissed off Matt from his bed on the other side of the room.

Blaine's eyes widened in embarrassment at Matt's words and then narrowed in anger at his rudeness when he saw Kurt tense and take a step back as if to take off back down the hall. Blaine knew very well that Matt didn't like Kurt, he heard about it all the God damn time actually, and he could see that Kurt knew that and appeared almost timid in his presence. Blaine didn't even want to begin thinking about what words Matt had said that Kurt had overheard either straight from his mouth or second hand that was triggering that reaction.

"Who do you think it is, Matt?" Blaine snapped with a quick turn of his head. He turned back to face Kurt and his heart sank and his hand reached out when he saw Kurt moving to leave. "Don't go," he pleaded, "You can stay here. That's what you were going to ask wasn't it?"

"No. Well yes, but- no, Blaine, it's fine. I'll just-" Kurt fumbled.

Blaine stopped his rambling by taking his wrist and giving it a gentle tug. "Come in," he whispered, "Lay with me and ignore Matt. He's an ass and he owes me-"

"I don't owe you shit, Anderson!"

"-big time, so don't worry about it, okay?" Blaine murmured.

Kurt smiled and after looking over Blaine's shoulder to observe Matt then back over his shoulder down the dorm hall he finally gave a quick nod.

Blaine grinned and -with a little too much enthusiasm for the early morning- pulled Kurt into the room and shut the door behind him. He eyed Matt and concluded that he had fallen back asleep and with any luck wouldn't remember any of this when he woke up. Kurt removed himself from Blaine's grip and with his usual seductive confidence melting back into his features he strode across the small room and sat down on the still made up side of Blaine's bed. The side that nobody had ever laid down on before. It made Blaine's stomach flip. He watched Kurt slide off his glasses with practiced ease, fold them up, and reach across to place them on the nightstand between his and Matt's bed. Then he saw something he knew that if he hadn't been paying very close attention he would have missed. He saw Kurt reach his hands to grab the hem of his sweater as if to take it off, quickly stop himself as if his mind had finally caught up with his actions, before taking his hands and sliding them under his thighs to sit on them. When he looked up at Blaine and smiled expectantly, Blaine had to force the smile on his face at first before it became natural once he let the thought slide.

They settled into bed and after some awkward shifting resulting from the realization that there was only one pillow and Kurt deciding to just use Blaine as one instead, Blaine was finally able to try and relax. This proved harder than it should have been though when Blaine was reminded that he was only in boxers and his undershirt when Kurt's bare calf brushed against his own, and Kurt's pink lock of hair tickled his nose, and especially when Kurt finally hummed in contentment after getting situated and Blaine swore that the vibrations felt against his collarbone radiated down to the core of his being.

"Is he asleep?" Kurt whispered into his tank top and Blaine knew he was referring to Matt. He looked over to see his roommate's back to them rising and falling slowly and figured that yeah, he probably was.

"I believe so," Blaine answered quietly, turning back and tilting his head down so his lips were a breath away from Kurt's forehead. He waited a few moments in comfortable silence before asking, "Did something happen?"

Kurt seemed to visibly have to shake himself out of a haze, "What was that?"

"Did something happen that made you come here?"

"Oh! Um, no, not really. Just a bad dream. I usually just crawl in with Julian but I… Uh-"

"You came here instead?"

Kurt nodded.

Blaine smiled and then, after a quick debate and hesitation bridged the gap and kissed his forehead. He felt Kurt startle but only for a moment before moving in closer.

"Where would you like to go today?" Blaine suddenly asked.

Kurt gave him a questioning look.

"For our date." Blaine clarified with a bashful grin so wide his eyes squinted and all that was left to see were the sparkles.

Kurt chuckled fondly, "Don't you worry about it," he whispered huskily, "What class do you have first tomorrow?"

It took Blaine a moment to figure out how to tell his brain to speak, "I have math," he finally managed, "Why?"

"I have a free first thing so I'll need you to make sure I'm up before you leave."

"Yeah, I can do that," Blaine assured him quickly, "But you know you can stay here and sleep in, though, right? Matt won't be here and-"

"No. That's okay. But thank you. I need to go out."

"Where?"

"… I'm almost out of cigarettes.

Blaine ignored the hesitation and didn't call Kurt out on the obvious lie. After yesterday he figured it best to not push Kurt.

Kurt was a good student really. Considering the multiple rules he had broken every day at Dalton -including but not limited to sex and smoking on school property- it was up to his near perfect marks to keep him enrolled. So, because of this, Kurt found it really easy to skip. The faculty never questioned it if he wasn't in class because of his attitude and as long as he kept his grades up and his mischief in the bedroom the teachers seemed content to turn a blind eye.

The truth was, though, Kurt _had _to skip. There was hardly any time between the end of classes and curfew to take a bus into town, and then on weekends when he wasn't working he wasn't allowed out of the house. So, in order to maintain just a regular lifestyle, one that included toothpaste and deodorant, he had to skip at least one class a week in order to get his shopping done.

So that's what he decided to do today. With the promise of a second date with Blaine lingering Kurt wanted to look good. He wanted to wear something besides the dull blue and red blazer for once. Impress somebody like he knew he was capable of. And while he was out getting some new clothes he figured he might as well stock up on everything he'd need for the next week.

So, once Blaine had left for classes later that morning Kurt had made his way down the hall to his own room. He took a quick shower and combed his hair back and into a way he knew would dry well and shrugged on his school uniform because even though he wasn't going to class, wearing it earned him more respect in stores. He emptied out his backpack so he'd have something to bring his stuff back in before swinging it around and onto his back. As he pulled on his loafers Kurt eyed his nightstand, where he not only kept his condoms and copy of _Macbeth _but also all of his money, and tried to remember how much was in there. He figured with a quick calculation he should have about fifty dollars which was a little discouraging but nothing he knew he couldn't work with.

He moved over to the dresser, slid it open, and was sad to see more coins then bills. He took his bag off and opened the front pocket to flick the coins into as he counted.

$44.67.

That was disappointing.

Kurt sighed but zipped up his bag and stood up to go, knowing there was nothing he could do about it until the weekend when he'd be, thankfully, working overtime which would give him a few more dollars then normal and one less thing to stress about that week.

For Kurt it was weird, obviously, attending such an expensive private school where everyone treated money like it was nothing and then having practically none himself. It was the sacrifice he had made though in order to transfer to Dalton from McKinley after the bullying had become too much for him to bear. He had begged his father to transfer him to the boarding school even after Walter Hummel had made it clear that he'd have to use his own expenses earned working part-time in order to get by during the week. Kurt had agreed and thanked him profusely.

And he _had_ been, thankful that is, in the beginning. In theory it seemed like a miracle. He'd get to be away from home -from his father- all week, and then be away from him during the day on weekends to work, and the only price was he had to buy his own toiletries? Seemed like a pretty nice deal at the time. It didn't take long for him to realize, though, just how expensive not just living but his certain lifestyle was. He had to resort to buying the cheapest _everything_ in order to keep a steady supply of lube and condoms, satisfy his craving for cigarettes, and pay for his crappy prepaid phone.

He had some resources, though. For one thing, condoms and lube were easy to steal from peoples' drawers when they were basking in the afterglow of a fantastic blow job. Also, with the way Kurt presented himself he was always having people approach him on the street, particularly after dark, trying to sell him various sorts of drugs and alcohol. Through this he had come to know a few people who would sell him a pack of smokes extremely cheap and all it cost from a few of them was a quick hand job every now and then. Easy. Last but not least, there was a convenience store in the heart of downtown attached to the back of this guy's house, and although it was a cover for a brothel (Kurt had become good friends with many of the girls quite quickly-another great resource for condoms) the guy that stood at the store front always gave Kurt fifteen dollar prepaid cards for just ten dollars.

So, even though he had less money than most of the boys at Dalton spent every day, Kurt knew that he could make it work.

The way into town was one Kurt knew well. He had the bus route and times memorized perfectly and he knew most of the bus drivers personally. He also knew that at certain times of the day he could get away with only paying seventy-five cents instead of the usual dollar fifty.

For some this way of life would be Hell but for Kurt it was Paradise - more often than not.

When he thought back to his life last year, in Lima and at McKinley, it took everything he had not to cry from the memories that still occasionally plagued him. Dumpster tosses and slushy facials that had ruined clothes he had saved his pennies for months to buy, locker slams that left scars and bruises that seemed to be permanently etched into his skin, and names thrown his way that at the time meant something different. Like now at Dalton, at McKinley, they had thrown names like "slut" and "whore" at him but it was different then it was then. As a young sophomore it had been humiliating to be called those things when he had never even kissed a boy. That fact being brought to light hurt more than the name itself.

Then, in the beginning of his junior year, he had finally got his first kiss and it had been from his homophobic tormentor, and newly revealed closeted homosexual, David Karofsky in the middle of the boys' locker room. He didn't go home after that. That was one of the benefits of having parents that didn't care, but it wasn't really useful for a teenager who didn't do anything. There had been no one for him to turn to. His father didn't care about what happened to him because of his sexuality, his mother cared _too_ much and not in a good way, and all of the kids in Glee club just didn't -_couldn__'__t_- get it. They were bullied, yes, but not like him. Never like him.

So he took the bus downtown, the same route he was taking now, and wandered aimlessly for hours and crying silently with his head bowed. Strangers passed without so much as a glance at him. Kurt was so lost in his thoughts, so consumed in his self-disgust, that he didn't notice the transition from day to night.

This is where everything changed, both for the better and for the worse. The night life of Lima, Ohio was nothing spectacular. Kurt could see that now. But that first night out had been like entering a whole new world. Like Lucy passing through the wardrobe he couldn't believe how close this entirely different and new way of living had been all this time. People didn't give two fucks about a whole Hell of a lot once the sun wasn't up to shine judgment on them. People were loud. People drank. People got high in the skate parks and made love on the playgrounds.

Kurt learned over time that, oddly enough, what got you through the night without any trouble wasn't being tough or being invisible. It was being friendly. Uncaring and untroubled. In this messed up and enclosed town a fresh face was easily welcomed and embraced into the underground culture.

So, instead of pining over New York and getting there eventually, waiting always waiting, Kurt put himself deeper into Lima. From word of mouth and overheard conversations he discovered bars that would let anyone come in and drink away their sorrows, and a small club with an inch thick of graffiti covering its walls that played music nobody knew but everyone absolutely loved after leaving. He found the small store where he bought his phone cards, attached to what he always thought was an abandoned gas station.

One of his favorite finds had been this small bookstore crushed in between a sketchy Chinese restaurant and a pharmacy. It was one of those bookstores with so many books that they spill out the doorway and have shelves sitting outside, and piles of books lining up the front hallway. Books not separated by genre but instead all mixed up so as you look through them trying to find something you recognize you end up finding ones you didn't know you would recognize.

Kurt loved it there and was sad to admit that the next day after discovering it he showed up again after school with a good chuck of the money he had saved for his prom suit for later that year, and went through and threw every book that caught his eye into a grocery bag he had brought from home. Paperbacks cost three dollars. Hardcovers are five dollars. Kurt walked out with about one hundred dollars' worth of books. Well, he didn't really walk out with them. He managed to stuff about ten of them into his backpack while he -with permission from the now very accommodating store owner- stored the rest of them out back.

The man who owned Kurt's new found piece of Heaven is named Luca. Just Luca.

Luca was in his early fifties, married to what seemed like a bitch of a woman from what he had told Kurt, and just desperately trying to forget and ignore his loneliness through books.

Luca hadn't taken much interest in Kurt at first. Who would have? Looking back Kurt knew he hadn't been much to look at. But after his first spree it had been a bit hard for Luca to ignore him. And as Kurt grew and changed and evolved to look more like something pulled off one of the posters in the club instead of a kid who couldn't be there, he could tell Luca was becoming more and more intrigued with him and their small talk changed to debates over which Anne Rice novel was the worst, and then soon became discussions long into the night and long past closing time, about life and love and politics and it felt so freakishly adult that Kurt couldn't help hold his head a little higher during the day. That had been almost seven months ago.

It had taken about a month of going to the bookstore and talking with Luca before Kurt had started actually _working _there, which basically consisted of doing what he did anyway, except now he was getting paid. Luca had invited Kurt out to dinner - which by that point was nothing new - only this time instead of their usual banter Luca had leaned forward, serious with his hands clasped, and had asked Kurt if he would be interested in working part-time. Kurt had jumped immediately at the offer. He had been looking for a job for months by that point and Luca knew that. They worked out the hours Kurt would need to be at the store over too big hamburgers and too many fries. It was the first night where Kurt felt like he was making some progress in his life.

Kurt lost his virginity to Luca that night.

The atmosphere that had been passed back and forth between them was different during the walk home. Heavier. Suggestive. Unfamiliar. Kurt tried to catch the older man's eye, but Luca seemed dead set against it with his eyes glued to the sun where it threatened to dip below the horizon, and his hands tense and shoved deep in his pockets. So instead Kurt just watched him, and did it so obviously that he knew that Luca was purposefully avoiding his gaze. He watched the light falling softly through the fogged air from the overhead streetlights dance and ripple over the wrinkles around Luca's eyes.

They managed to make it back to the safety and protection of the store before anything happened. It was faster than either of them could have comprehended and was too intense to stop. As they approached the dimly lit front entrance Luca opened the door and allowed Kurt to pass by. The electricity that sparked down to Kurt's toes as he brushed up against the older man had made his eyes fall shut and his breath stutter and clog in his throat.

Then, when the lights stayed off and Luca stayed quiet Kurt had turned, hesitantly and wanting. So desperate. _Luca? _he had whispered, trying to keep his voice from trembling. He hadn't wanted Luca to think he was afraid of what they both knew was about to happen.

Kurt remembered everything about that night.

He can recall the feeling - the numbing pain - of his back being shoved into the closest bookcase, of lips crashing that melded together like heated metal though warm, wet, and shaking, and clothes tearing and loud gasps - too loud, always too loud in the turned away silence. He can remember a throbbing that resounded and pounded in his ears and incredible, torturous pleasure and finallyfinally_finally_ strong, capable, entirely lust driven arms grabbing firmly around his thighs and hauling him up, forcing him to enclose his calves around the wide torso and being carried in the most ungraceful manner as their lips caught and missed all the way up the narrow staircase.

Kurt had never been allowed upstairs before.

The next morning Kurt had woken up alone. His legs tangled in a mess of stained, white bed sheets, undershirts, and briefs. He crawled out of bed, wincing at the deep, foreign ache that had settled deep in his strained muscles throughout the night, reminding him of last night – _ohgodlastnight _- and what he and Luca had done together.

As he crept quietly along the old wooden floorboards, the familiar scent of coffee wafted in from down the hall. Kurt moaned out loud before he could stop himself and slapped his hand over his mouth to stop the bubble of giggles in his chest. He grabbed the discarded duvet and made his way slowly and nervously down the short hall towards the small kitchen. Even though Kurt had never been up here before he had always smelled the coffee.

They spent the entire weekend together.

They cooked intricate meals together using spices that had never been touched on the Lazy Susan, took luxurious baths in the cracked tub with glasses of cheap wine and dollar store candles dimly lighting the room, and talked for hours about books. Always books.

And they had sex. Lots of sex.

Kurt had gone from what many would consider a prude to a teenager controlled entirely by his hormones in the span of one glorious night. Kurt begged Luca to take him all the time and he did, against everything. Against the kitchen sink, the dryer, on the stairs, and even pressed tightly against the front store window late Saturday night. Each night Kurt would grin at the ceiling and thank God that his father was away in Seattle that weekend. Everything was wonderful, at least he had thought that at the time.

Kurt started thinking. He could move out of his parents' house, leave his father. He could sneak his stuff away at night and live here with Luca. Luca could leave his wife. He'd leave his wife for Kurt. Of _course _he would, right? It was perfect. Everything was.

Or, at least, until it wasn't.

Luca disappeared Sunday night. Kurt woke alone, the empty space beside him cold and unforgiving. Kurt knew. He didn't even have to get up, didn't have to strain his ears to try and hear the sounds of pots being moved and food being cooked. His heart just _sank_. Dropped into his stomach and there were tears before his eyes could even sting and all he could wonder was _what did I do wrong?_

It took a few weeks, the end of January and his first day at Dalton quickly approaching, before he got the courage to go back. He found Luca inside, organizing the cash register, and when their eyes met Kurt could tell Luca had been waiting for him. Always waiting.

They didn't talk explicitly about what had happened but they did tread carefully around the topic. Kurt tried to keep his heart from shattering into unsalvageable pieces as Luca explained and reason and apologized - a million times over - for what had happened and for not thinking, and Kurt used every last bit of his strength to keep it together when Luca made it clear that it could never happen again. He was married and Kurt was far, far too young and just excuses, excuses, fucking excuses.

But Kurt held it together.

Now it was five months later and Kurt and Luca were no closer than they had been that first month, but at least now their relationship was one they could both be comfortable with.

And in a way it was better, Kurt thought. Because without Luca he was able to finally see Blaine.

Blaine felt his phone vibrate in his pocket just as the bell rang signaling the end of class and the beginning of lunch. As the rest of the students around him zipped up their binders and packed up their bags Blaine pulled out his phone and slid his thumb across the screen to unlock it.

_Meet me at our coffee shop for lunch? -K_

Blaine giggled, adorable and bubbly, as he read the message over and over and brushed his index finger softly over the word _our _with a giddiness he had forgotten he was capable of. Then, with a quiet chuckle at his incredible good fortune, he placed the phone in his pocket (more careful with it then ever before) and quickly shoved his binder and still loose papers into his bag before jogging out the door with a smile so big his cheeks ached.

He tried not to but Blaine ended up practically running all of the way to the café. He stopped about a block away though and walked slower to pull down his blazer, smooth his hand over his hair, and control his breathing.

As he walked by the large windows he tried to peak around a couple of women sitting in the stools by the table looking out to see if he could catch a glimpse of Kurt and where he was so he'd know exactly where to look when he walked in, but he had no such luck and too soon he was at the door and opening door and walking in the door.

The smell of coffee threatened to pull him towards the counter and the familiar hum of hushed voices crept into his notice like a looming fog, but then he saw Kurt and it all pulled back away like a rushing tide and Kurt was suddenly everything precious in this world and Blaine's hands itched to hold him underneath the warm sheets of his bed and cradle him close to his chest and whisper wonderful sweet nothings into his ear of undying love and beauty to block out the horrible banter the entire school constantly threw at him. It came to Blaine suddenly and as the tide rolled back and the sounds and smells came rushing in from the distant horizon, Kurt was real and there again but the sun had somehow shifted and he was new.

And he was beautiful. Always so beautiful.

Blaine had always thought there was never anything more appealing to look at then Kurt in a well fitted blazer but apparently he had been wrong. This. This outfit. This was Blaine's favorite by far.

Leggings. Tight - so _tight _on his glorious thighs - and made of a beautiful white lace that provided teasing glimpses to the expanses of flawless pale skin (that Blaine had been fortunate enough to see this morning) that met a pair of old combat boots mid-calf. Then, a long-sleeved, black Henley shirt so fitted to Kurt's broad shoulders and narrow waist that Blaine couldn't look away as he approached.

When Kurt finally looked up and his eyes met Blaine's, the blue in his eyes seemed to brighten three shades and he raised his hand and wiggled his fingers in a tentative wave that made Blaine's heart stutter.

"Hey there, cutie," Kurt greeted with a sweet smile as Blaine approached, "Glad you could make it."

Blaine knew for a fact now that he had never been this happy so he took a chance and after dropping his bag to the floor next to Kurt's he leaned over and placed a quick kiss on Kurt's cheek, "Hello," Blaine grinned, taking in Kurt's surprised but seemingly amused expression as Blaine sat down in the chair across from him.

"Someone's in a good mood," Kurt commented with a raised eyebrow.

Blaine shrugged, "You always put me in a good mood."

"That's a lie," Kurt scoffed.

Blaine put his hands up in mock defense, "Believe what you will."

Kurt eyed him skeptically before sighing and shaking his head with a fond smile, "Alright. Well, here's your coffee," Kurt said, pushing one of the cups across the table, "I hope I got the right kind. Medium drip, yes?"

"Exactly right," Blaine assured, "Thank you so much," he murmured, bringing the top near his nose and breathing in the wonderful aroma, "You know, I didn't expect you to get me anything, I-"

Kurt waved him off before he could finish, "Don't be ridiculous, Blaine," he admonished, "Here. Take your sandwich."

Blaine huffed in mock frustration but his ever growing smile gave him away as he reached across and took the offered sandwich from Kurt's hand, letting his fingers linger for a moment, "So," he began, pulling back to take a small sip of his coffee, "What have you been up to all morning, Mr. Hummel?"

Kurt mirrored him and took a sip from what Blaine figured was probably another non-fat mocha before answering Blaine over the top of the lid, "I went shopping downtown."

He hadn't been expecting that. "How did you get down there?"

"The bus of course," Kurt laughed, "I picked up a few things I needed and then spent the rest on some new clothes. Do you like them?" Kurt asked coyly, gesturing to his torso, looking suddenly unsure.

"Of course- I mean, yes. Yes I do," How could he not? "Very much so," Blaine insisted after Kurt ducked his head in embarrassment, "Just… Why are you wearing them now? We have class. English."

"Actually," Kurt drawled, "I was kind of hoping I could convince you to ditch and spend the day with me."

Blaine started. He had never skipped class before and nobody had ever asked him. But this was Kurt asking, so obviously - despite how pathetic he knew it was - his answer was going to be yes. He kept his expression calm and calculating, though - teasing. "Oh, did you now? And what makes you think I'd do something like that?"

Kurt smirked, "To be honest, I was hoping that this new outfit would be enough to convince you."

Suddenly Blaine felt a pressure against the inside of his leg, and his head automatically ducked down to peak under the table to see Kurt's boot dragging itself back down his leg before hooking with his ankle.

Blaine heard a snicker and he looked back up to find Kurt resting his chin on his right hand with a completely content expression on his face, making him look so beautiful that Blaine found it down right unfair.

Blaine blushed and Kurt clucked his tongue in amusement before asking, "So what do you say?"

Blaine shook his head, "You already know what I'm going to say."

Kurt ducked his head but Blaine saw the pleased look, "I know."

"So where will we be going?" Blaine inquired curiously, reaching for his coffee again, relishing the feeling of Kurt's foot pressed against his own.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out," Kurt answered simply, "Are you going to want to change?"

Blaine thought about it for a moment, "Most of my clothes are at Dalton," he said thoughtfully, "But unless it interferes with your plans we could just make a quick pit stop at my house."

"That would be fine," Kurt settled, "We have all day, right?"

Blaine beamed, "Right."

Afternoons were always something Kurt dreaded at home. They were the times when he would have to walk downstairs with a smile for his father, who the night before had pushed him into the closet mirror hard enough to shatter, and a smile for his mother who never even gave an indication that she cared what was happening.

Most of the time Florence Hummel did everything in her power to never acknowledge her son. She spent all of the time both her and Kurt were ever in the house together -the weekends - cleaning the entire house. Every room but Kurt's at least. Meals were spent in awkward silence over the drone of clanking utensils and his parents' comments on the weather or their neighbors. She left the laundry basket outside of his room for his clothes and after they were clean she left them in a pile by the door.

His mother ignoring him hadn't been a gradual thing either. He could pinpoint the time exactly and it had been right after the move from Lima. After his relationship with his father took a horrible turn, instead of pulling away from her husband, she just seemed to cling closer and instead retreated from Kurt.

Losing his mother this way had just been another thing for Kurt to deal with at the time.

She turned a deaf ear to the screams that sometimes escaped his mouth through the late afternoon and into the night, as his father painted bruise after bruise onto his skin with every punch, pull, and shove.

One particular moment that had stood out in his mind, a brief exchange that had left him sobbing into his pillow and numb for days after, had been after the first time his father had ever pushed him down their hardwood stairs.

Kurt could remember all of the oxygen being shoved from his lungs as his body made that final slam into the wall after the last step. He could remember the searing pain taking a moment to register in his mind and waiting and it hitting him and being so completely shocked that none of it seemed real. He was ready for this cruel joke to be over.

But it was real and he was never sure how long it was he stayed there. The light outside went dark and the seconds ticked endlessly away on the grandfather clock. He assumed his father must have gone to bed and passed out. He had never seen him drunk that early in the day before. It hadn't even been five o'clock yet. But now it was long passed, and just when he thought that it might be a good idea to try and move, possibly get up, and assess the damage caused by his violent spill he heard the familiar, distinct sound of the front door, not five feet from where he was laying, being unlocked and opened. His mother was home.

Kurt was facing away from the door and towards the stairs so he kept his body still and wondered what he wanted her reaction to be. What he wasn't prepared for was her showing no reaction at all. As he held his breath and waited he heard her stop, just for a moment, before the sound of her shoes against the tiles continued. _She had seen him right? She had to have. _And she had. Kurt had not been prepared for the incredible hurt, abandonment, and despair that devoured him in an instant as his mother approached only to step over his body and make her way up the stairs. He tried to catch her eyes but it was no use.

She was gone.

They left the coffee shop and after their quick stop at Blaine's house - which had consisted of Blaine running around like a madman trying to quickly put together an outfit while Kurt flipped through Mrs. Anderson's book called _A Child__'__s Book of Birds_ - they found themselves sitting at a bus stop under a huge overhanging tree. Kurt had shyly asked Blaine if he had any change on him, quickly explaining that he had spent his last couple dollars at the café, and Blaine had dug around in his pocket and thankfully pulled out enough to cover the both of them going into town.

The first place Kurt took Blaine to was a small bookstore he had only ever seen in passing. As they approached the front door - kept open by an old brick - Blaine let his eyes wander over the worn, torn, and dog eared variety of books lining the entrance. Titles ranging from _The Long Walk _by Stephen King to _Wuthering Heights _by Emily Bronte.

Kurt noticed his distraction and softly fluttered to his side with a natural grace. Blaine let his gaze fall upon him and the way Kurt's eyes travelled hungrily over the neutral covers. His mouth opened agape at the pale flawlessness of Kurt's hand as he reached forward with shy curiosity, before deciding upon a novel and pulling it from its bind amongst the others. He became entranced with the way Kurt's fingertips ran along the cover before he tipped it up and let the wind passing through decide how the pages would fall.

Blaine stared, transfixed, unashamedly at Kurt. Watched his throat move.

Kurt noticed after a moment. Rotating slowly to face Blaine, reaching a hand to brush a stray pink lock of hair from his forehead as he gently places the book back down, biting his lip, "Why are you looking at me like that?" he whispered.

Blaine shrugged, pursing his lips as he tried to hide his grin.

Kurt chuckled softly before taking a single, flirtatious step forward that suddenly put him daringly close to Blaine. Too close for him to resist.

And he didn't. Blaine let his eyes dart down to Kurt's pink lips, parted and suggesting, and when he looked up and saw Kurt looking at his own that was what did it. He reached out, aiming for Kurt's hand and catching his fingers, and pulled him flush against him as he finally pressed their lips together.

It was different and better, so much better, then Blaine had been expecting. Blaine had been expecting Kurt to at least hesitate before reciprocating, but instead he jumped right in, moving his lips even before they met. And it was hungry. Not slow and careful like their last kiss had been. This kiss was one that Blaine smiled around, and the one where Kurt chuckled into Blaine's mouth when their noses bumped as they tried to trade angles. This kiss was the one where Blaine moved his hands down, shaking but sure, to rest on Kurt's hips, and this was the kiss where Kurt ran his hands playfully up Blaine's chest from where they had been pinned between them to settle around Blaine's shoulders. This kiss felt more free then the other's had. Happier. Surer of something they weren't even aware of yet.

Suddenly, a quick sound from towards the open door had them pulling apart faster than they could process.

Blaine looked and saw a man. A man who looked like he could be in his late forties or fifties, leaning against the chipped wood of the door, staring at Kurt with what Blaine thought was a somber expression.

He learned that his name was Luca and it became quickly clear to Blaine that there was a lot of history between him and Kurt. Blaine tried not to feel jealous…and failed.

Luckily though, Kurt didn't give him a lot of time to ponder. He talked so fast and so passionately, more emotion and happiness on his face then Blaine had ever seen, showing Blaine around the crowded store and all of the books that upon first look appear to have no order, but Kurt proves him wrong as he knows where every book is that Blaine can think to name. He showed Blaine behind the counter and a chair which Kurt claimed is _his_ before explaining that he found it sitting on a street corner downtown one night and just _had to have it. _Then Kurt dragged him away again to show him his coffee maker that looks like it cost about ten dollars but Kurt looks so incredibly proud of it that Blaine suddenly felt like he was about to burst into tears. And when he showed Blaine his record player and it started playing Buddy Holly before he pressed their bodies together while they danced, danced close and gentle and so, so careful, among the many piles of books Blaine was sure he was falling too hard and too fast but he could never bring himself to care.

Luca stayed mostly out of their way. He stayed back and drifted in and out but seemed to disappear altogether after Kurt pressed a lingering kiss to Blaine's mouth during his plea to get Blaine to play something for him on the baby grand piano sitting out back. The piano was in tune but didn't look like it had ever been really _played_. Blaine couldn't help but feel a bit smug. He tried to remind himself that there was no reason for these feelings of envy and that he was in no place to be jumping in and hiding Kurt away, but there's something there, something different between Kurt and Luca, and Blaine knew he'd give anything to have it.

So, after Blaine played a shortened version of "Teenage Dream" on the piano (cut short by Kurt straddling his waist and insisting that an intermission dedicated to making out would be perfectly acceptable) Kurt ran off suddenly, leaving Blaine panting and wanting and desperate for moremore_more, _and Blaine heard him yell up the stairs to Luca about food but he can't be sure, and it doesn't matter because Kurt is suddenly bounding back into the room and into Blaine's lap.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Kurt asked, looking far too tempting and adorable with his blue eyes wide and hopeful smile.

"I'd love to," Blaine answered, before thinking and hesitating, "If it's okay with Luca."

Kurt bit his lip and Blaine really wished he hadn't said anything and Kurt turned his head towards the stairs but turned back and whispered, "He's fine with it."

Blaine chuckled without humor, "Are you sure about that?"

"He's okay with anything I want." Kurt smirked but there was something else there that Blaine couldn't figure out, "But I was thinking," Kurt continued, apparently sensing the tension as easily as Blaine could, "that we could take a walk around town while we waited for everything to cook. Visit a few shops. I have some books I have to take back to the library."

"Sounds good."

"Good."

They walked through town with their pinkies interlocked between them. Kurt pointed out his favorite shops, reciting which were the best places to get the best finds at the lowest prices, and Blaine had never felt happier. The conversation was light and they move from topic to topic with an ease that Blaine has never had with anyone before, as he lets Kurt control their pace and direction the entire time. They argue designers and discuss reality television and judge other peoples' clothes while complimenting each other's. Kurt stops to slip his borrowed books through the slot outside the small library, and Blaine stops to talk guitars with a guy sitting on the street corner outside of the walk-in clinic, and after Blaine throws a ten dollar bill into his case (and catches Kurt watching him with the most fond and heart racing smile) the man - who introduced himself as Zack - asked them to pick a song for him to play especially for them. Any song.

They smiled at each other and tried to talk with their eyes and then Kurt knelt down next to Zack and whispered into his ear, and Zack laughs and Blaine is confused until he hears the opening chords of "Rivers and Roads" bounce from strings under the man's skillful fingers, and Blaine is laughing and amazed always amazed by Kurt because he had been singing this song all last week, and from the way Kurt's looking at him now he can tell that Kurt knew exactly what he's doing and Blaine could almost say he loves him for it.

_A year from now we__'__ll all be gone, All our friends will move away_

Blaine knew this song so well, believed in his heart that if the man handed his guitar over that he'd be able to play the chords despite never having played the instrument before. So that's why he had no choice but to join in. When he can hear the verse ending and a new beginning, the words are on his tongue and anxious to jump off, so he let them.

_Nothin__'__ is as it has been, And I miss your face like hell_

The man smiled and laughed and let him take over and then he felt Kurt nudge his shoulder fondly, and for the first time in a really long time everything was pretty much perfect.

"You mind if we go in there? Kurt asked on their way home, halfway turned towards the local farmer's market and looking back at Blaine.

"Not at all," Blaine smiled.

The colors inside were overwhelming. Westerville - all of Ohio it seemed - had a color scheme that seemed stuck in the grey scale so in here was other worldly. Organic fruits that didn't look real and vegetables that actually looked far too good. Wooden boxes filled with carrots, zucchini, squash, sweet potato, and red onions. A hand made sign up front was advertising _Fresh Baked Goods, _and another corner even had some crafts for sale. Sewn quilts with every pattern and glass bead necklaces.

Blaine wondered how he had never stumbled upon this place before. He looked over towards where Kurt was looking and saw him standing in front of the pile of bright, red apples looking between them and the sign that said they were two dollars and twenty-five cents a pound.

"What are you thinking about?" Blaine whispered, hooking his chin confidently over Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt huffed, "I was _hoping_ to make an apple pie later but…" he trailed off, looking down, and Blaine followed Kurt's eyes to where they were glancing down at his hand which was holding only a couple small coins.

Blaine thought about it for a moment before speaking, "Well, how many apples do you need?"

"Five maybe."

"Well, that not too bad, here," Blaine reached into his back pocket, pulling out the change he had left over from their bus trip out here and handing it to Kurt, "How's that?"

"Blaine-" Kurt said as he looked over his shoulder at him, "It's fine really. We don't have to-" he insisted.

"Kurt," Blaine interrupted, amused, "Get your apples."

Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled, "Yes, sir."

After they got back to the bookstore they headed upstairs, and Blaine finally gets to see the tiny house hidden above. They head straight to the kitchen though because Kurt wants the pie to be cooked in time for dessert. Kurt puts on another record - Don McLean this time - and Blaine can't help but be aware of how wonderstruck by Kurt he is. They dance like they have been all day it seems, and they make a mess and spill the eggs and almost forget to put in the sugar and drop the flour and put in much more than a _pinch _of salt and Blaine cuts his finger more than once peeling the apples and Kurt eats two slices for every one he actually puts in and they kiss and smear yolk and cinnamon all over each other and as they're laughing and holding each other up. Blaine watches Kurt and his thoughts suddenly echo the lyrics now just radio static in the background. _This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you._

Dinner turned out to be more fun than Blaine had previously thought it would be. Luca seemed to have let go of any problems he had seemed to have with Blaine earlier, and the three of them sat down at the small table in the corner of the kitchen to eat the fettuccine alfredo that Luca seems eager to tell Kurt that he successfully made from scratch, and Kurt seems so proud that Blaine can only laugh at the thought of what these two must go through every time they try and have a meal together.

Luca asked Blaine questions that seem very close to the type of questions a father would ask their daughter's first boyfriend, and Blaine had this sudden moment of absolute terrible panic where he worries that he misread Luca and Kurt together and _oh my God is this-_? But no, that was stupid to think. Blaine knew Kurt's father's name. _Walter_. He had heard his parents talking about Walter and Florence Hummel before. _Such a lovely couple _his mother had said _it__'__s such a shame about how their son turned out._

Blaine wished, as he often did, that he was brave enough to stand up to his parents.

After they all have a piece of pie, which Blaine is surprised to discover actually turned out really good, he looked over at the clock.

7:13pm. Where the hell had the day gone?

He looked back and saw Kurt staring at him longingly. Nervous and twitchy. Blaine cocked his head to the side slightly, a silent question.

"You don't have to leave, do you?" Kurt asked and the way he does makes Blaine sure that even if he did he still wouldn't.

Instead he laughed and said, "I _should _have left hours ago," he began and before Kurt's face could fall any further he finished with, "But no, I'm not going anywhere. I'll head back whenever you do. I'm sure Dalton can handle one evening without me"

Kurt smiled, looking entirely too grateful for what little Blaine had offered him in comparison to what he wished he could.

They clean up the dishes (Blaine washes and Kurt dries since Kurt knows where everything is supposed to go) and then they wander back downstairs and put back all the books they've moved from their proper spot on the many shelves, and they put the records away from where they're scattered all over the front counter and put the record player back in its place on a vintage chair in the far corner of the shop.

Blaine wondered if Kurt was thinking of heading back and despite his anxiety over what his parents were going to say about this when Dalton inevitably called them, he couldn't help but hope that they weren't going back anytime soon.

And they didn't. Once they did a final look around to make sure everything was back to Luca's standards, Kurt took Blaine's hand and tugged him back up the steep set of stairs. At the top he turned around and put his finger to his lips and angled his head towards one of the two closed doors and whispered _Luca_. Blaine nodded to show that he understood the need to be quiet and the two of them headed down the small corridor and back into the kitchen.

"Would you like some tea?" Kurt asked in a hushed tone, letting go of Blaine's hand and heading towards the kettle.

"Yes please." He'd do anything just to stay with Kurt a little while longer.

Kurt got the water boiling and took out two green tea bags and two chipped ceramic mugs that looked hand painted.

Kurt grinned, sheepish, as he leaned back against the counter, "I got those at a flea market a few years back. I'm not sure how they ended up here, but." He shrugged, "So, would you like anything special in yours?"

"Oh, just make it however. The same as yours. Surprise me," Blaine stumbled.

So he watched as Kurt poured the hot water from the white kettle into the two small mugs over the tea bags, and then added a splash of milk from the small carton in the fridge, and a teaspoon of honey from a jar in the near empty top cupboard.

They made their way back down the hall and giggled as they passed Luca's room where loud snores were radiating from. Kurt went to his door and had to give it a quick shove before it gave, and then he moved out of the way so Blaine could pass, but not without giving him a quick kiss on his shoulder on the way by that made Blaine's toestingle.

Kurt's room was everything and nothing of what he had expected.

There wasn't a bed per say. Just a really comfortable mattress on the floor covered in pillows, sheets, blankets, and quilts. A bookshelf that looked like it was about to collapse under the weight because there was so many books, a pile of clothes that looked neither obviously dirty or clean, a Dalton vest across the back of a kitchen chair beside the window, magazines scattered and cut up, a couple of empty beer cans in the corner, a full ashtray by the bed, an old Toshiba laptop plugged into the wall, and what looked like good quality art supplies scattered all over the place.

"Sorry about the mess," Kurt muttered, stepping with practiced ease over everything towards the bed.

Blaine tried to follow, placing his feet where he thought Kurt had exactly, "Don't worry about it," he assured, "So, do you actually live here or…?"

"No," Kurt sighed, not sounding too happy about that, "No, just this is where most of my stuff is because this is where I spend most of my time. But no, I live with my parents."

Blaine nodded, finally making it to where Kurt was and carefully sitting down next to him on the warm comforters and leaned forward to take a sip of his tea.

"Would you ever make love to the Devil?"

Blaine spluttered and barely heard Kurt laughing over his violent coughing.

"I'm- _what_? Why?"

Kurt shrugged, still laughing, "I don't know. It's a conversation starter."

"How the hell- What the- How is that a conversation starter?" Blaine demanded.

Kurt just laughed harder.

They did end up talking though. A lot.

Blaine talked about himself more than he ever had before, mostly because nobody had ever cared. But Kurt seemed to. He asked questions that Blaine actually had to think about the answer to and Kurt's face actually looked like he was listening, which made Blaine talk about things he normally never talked about. He told Kurt about his father and the pressures for him to do good in school from both of his parents, and his fears about school ending and that question of _what next, _and his fear of failing at anything he tries, and about his older brother whom he loves but can never seem to truly connect with, and he even opened up to Kurt about his past with bullying and the violence and the hopelessness. It was like a dam breaking and releasing years and years of pressure that had built up. And Kurt, unlike anyone else he had ever tried to talk to, seemed to understand.

Kurt told him about his dreams to go to New York. He didn't mention his parents and Blaine didn't try to bring it up again after it was obvious Kurt wasn't going to talk about it. But Kurt told him about the future. Where Blaine was always looking back Kurt was looking straight ahead. He gushed about the apartment he would someday have and the awards he would win and shows he would see and clothes he would wear. He wanted to design clothes and conquer Broadway and he wanted to paint and write and take pictures of every place in New York City that hadn't been photographed yet.

Somehow they both ended up on their backs, lying on Kurt's bed over the covers, with their hands clasped between them. The constant conversation they had been maintaining before had died into comfortable silence occasionally interrupted by _what time do you think it is? _and _are you still awake? _and Kurt's thumb flicking at his lighter as he touched the end of a cigarette to the flame.

They eventually played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would be the one to sit up and check the time. Blaine won. Kurt scowled and started to roll away with a mock frown and Blaine couldn't resist and reached over to wrap one arm around Kurt to drag him back, give him a quick kiss that landed on his jaw, before pushing him back away and up with a laugh.

Kurt blindly fumbled for one of their phones in the dark and Blaine saw him wince and squint as he looked at the bright screen in the now pitch black room.

"It's just past eleven," Kurt whispered, "Guess we're staying here tonight."

Blaine nodded.

"Unless you don't want to, I mean."

Blaine realized a second too late that without being able to see him of course Kurt would take his silence badly.

"No, no, no. I want to stay. We'll stay. Sorry, I nodded and- Yeah. I want to stay."

Blaine heard Kurt laugh softly before whispering, so softly Blaine almost missed it, "Good. I want you to stay, too."

**TBC**


End file.
